A Soldier's Cowardice
by JaerWolfe
Summary: Heroes are rarely seen as such through their own eyes...
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: This is the sequel to A Soldier's Weakness. There are characters/situations that will not make any sense if you have not read that one first._**

**_A/N2: This one is for Jhosephine of KAST. Your images always make me want to put in words the story I see them tell._**

* * *

"How many?" His words were raw, the voice hoarse.

"Six female, six male." By sharp contrast, the woman's tone was firm and confident, the accent so slight as to be almost missed in such brief words. "Do we tell her?"

Scrubbing his hands over his face, he closed his eyes. "This will hurt her. You know my policy on hurting her."

A surprisingly genuine smile lit the woman's face. "Hurt others first, I believe."

"We can't keep it from her. That would be worse." The voice was more confident now. "But I think…not just yet. Where are the others?"

"Most are dead. One you've had contact with yourself." On high heels, the generously curved woman circled her desk, picking up a datapad as she did. "The control group was specifically built to define what class would be the most versatile, most worthy of an army. Soldier, Sentinel, Vanguard, Adept, Engineer and, of course, Infiltrator. A male and female of each class were engineered in the first generation. All males genetically similar, as were all females. Variation came from the necessity of specializations. More strength for the Soldier, more Biotics for the Sentinel, etc. Of all the first gen crèche, only one male remains and two females."

"I would have thought they'd clean up their project better than that." The words were wry.

A low laugh filled the room. "Oh, they tried. They haven't been able to find the male…they called him John, of all things. And the females…one was considered a success and the program was allowed to progress through her. The other…it's less clear why she was allowed to survive."

Anger sparked a blue flare across brown eyes. "So they're still studying her? Still running their damn experiment?"

"No, Kaidan. You misunderstand." Miranda's voice was low, her expression intense. "Shepard was the failure. Her file lists her as terminated at age twelve. A later addendum shows her alive adding such a revival after a medical death unusual and worthy of further study, but further experimentation would continue through the successful subject, Samantha Rivers."

Kaidan Alenko blinked, his expression confused. "You're telling me Shepard's been officially declared dead twice?"

Miranda tilted her head. "Were I you, I'd be very careful about a third time, Kaidan. They do say it's the charm."

* * *

Kaidan Alenko paused as he stepped out of Miranda's office, his gaze on the woman leaning oh, so casually against the wall, her expression a blank wall that revealed nothing of what her sharp eyes were thinking.

"I keep telling myself that the thought of you and Miranda having an affair right on board the Normandy is ridiculous because, one, neither of you is that stupid and two, neither of you acts like the other cranks your wheel." Shepard's voice was mild for the most part, the snapping edge heard only in the ring of the words.

He crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head to stare at her. "Both your points are valid." He agreed.

She pushed off the wall with her shoulders, sauntering next to him in that sexy little strut she unconsciously used around him. Her fingers started on his bicep and felt their way up his arm, her eyes following the path before skipping to his lips. They lingered there for a moment.

"The other reason you would spend so much time willingly with an ex-Cerberus agent actually has me more annoyed than the thought of an affair between the two of you." Her gaze finally reached his eyes and deep in their depths he found what he had hoped he wouldn't.

Hurt.

"Shepard." He sighed rubbed the back of his neck, trying to decide.

She licked her lips and stepped back, physically shutting him out, rebuilding the walls between them he'd spent months trying to destroy. "It's okay. Couples who share everything are just bored, right? Keep some secrets, keep some mystery." She managed a careless shrug. "I just wanted to let you know I have an appointment with a reporter in the Presidium because Udina hates me and likes to piss me off with PR moments. I might be awhile."

"Shepard." His put hands on her waist trying to establish the physical connection that was so necessary in getting past her defenses. "Two things…one, I will let you know what's going on as soon as I have a clear handle on what it is and what we need to do about it. I promise. Right now…I like it when you sleep at night and this matter is not a crisis."

She frowned, studying him. "You do know you just sent my curiosity and panic orbit high, right?"

"Will you trust me?" He asked softly.

"Yes." She answered without hesitation. "That doesn't mean I don't reserve the right to kick your ass if you piss me off."

A slow, sexy smile lifted a corner of his mouth. "That is a threat I never worry about with you, Shepard. You'd never deprive yourself of one of your favorite parts of my anatomy."

She blinked wide, too innocent eyes. "I could always kiss it and make it feel better."

"Okay, what was our deal about you saying stuff like that when I'm in BDUs and can't hide my reaction?" Kaidan complained pulling her hard against him.

"That you'll make me pay for it later?" She purred before pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Shepard." The name was a drawn out plea for patience.

She laughed and stopped teasing him. "What's two?" She asked and then chuckled at the blank expression on his face. "You said you had two things to say to me. One was that when you had a handle on it, you'd tell me what I need to know. What was two?"

"Oh, yeah." He cupped his hands on her rear and bent his head giving her a long, slow kiss. "Number two…please at least think twice before you punch the reporter. As a favor to me?"

Her nose wrinkled in irritation. "Fine. Just twice, though, and this counts as one."

* * *

"Hang on, I want to get some more fish." Shepard called to the two women at her back before heading into the store.

There it was again. The shadow at the corner of her eye. The blur that was there and then gone but had been dancing up and down her spine since she'd left the Normandy earlier that day. Oh, he was good, whoever he was. She'd only had a brief glimpse of his military style buzz head over a crowd at the Presidium and a faint reflection in the water as they'd passed the lake. His eyes were what had set off her alarms. The steely look of determination that had her fingers dropping to her gun before he'd deliberately looked away and moved on casually, as if to convince her that her instincts were wrong.

"What is it with you and fish?" Jack demanded. "You've killed more than a Krogan at a Rite of Parentage feast."

Shepard glanced at Kasumi. The Master Thief's hooded gaze dropped to the commands being issued silently by hand before taking two steps into a crowd and simply disappearing.

"You don't like fish?" Shepard questioned, her eyes on the kiosk but her attention on her peripheral vision.

Jack gave a shrug. "Okay, I guess. I can't understand why you hate them so much that you're slowly murdering your way through them. That kind of sadism is more my beat than yours."

"I don't hate fish!" Shepard responded, momentarily distracted, her voice affronted. "They're gorgeous. Very restful."

Jack tilted her bald head, studying the woman next to her. "Right. Which is why you forget about them and they starve to death."

"Actually, Kaidan thinks I may be over feeding them." A puzzled look entered her eyes. "Can you do that? Over feed something?"

Jack stared at her. "How would I know? I'm better at killing things than keeping them alive, Shepard."

Shepard's eyes flickered to the convict. "So am I, Jack. That's why I keep trying." She punched a button and authorized the deduction from her cred account. "To prove causing death isn't all I can do."

Frowning, Jack thought about it. "You're doing a crappy job so far."

"But I am trying." Shepard caught the commotion from the corner of her eye and quickly turned.

A large male figure was darting down the stairs while Kasumi picked herself up from the crowd she'd been tossed into. Before the snarling could start, the thief's figure blurred and she disappeared.

Shepard moved away from the kiosk and found a quiet spot where she could stand and not be run into by the crowd. Kasumi flashed into vision moments later.

"He's a strong one, that one." The latter said, wiping at a trickle of blood on her mouth. "And he's definitely interested in you."

"You get anything off him?" Shepard asked, her gaze moving about the crowd, searching for someone who had better sense than to continue his surveillance after he'd been spotted.

"Pouch of credit chits. No personal info. He wasn't carrying any that I could find before he sensed me." Kasumi tossed the rather weighty bag up and down in her hand that she had picked from the stalker's pocket. "How do you feel about ramen for lunch? I'll buy."

Shepard laughed and then blinked as the third member of their party joined them. "Jack, you have fish." The words were confused.

The convict gave a shrug meant to convey how little she cared about the fish she was carrying in a small enviro-bag, but it was belied by the unconscious smile playing about her lips. "Yeah. No big deal. I bet I can keep them alive longer than you do yours."

"Not if you don't feed them and I don't see any fish food in your hands. And you'll need to put them in something other than that bag." Shepard pointed out feeling slightly superior that she knew that much at this point in her fish killing career.

Jack frowned at the bag, her eyes narrowing as if the lack of food and a home were the fault of the fish.

"Come on. I'll help you find something stable for the deck you live on." Shepard finally sighed as Kasumi simply smiled. "I can give you some advice on how to take care of them, too."

Jack's expression lightened. "That would be good. Then I'll know what not to do to keep them alive."

* * *

Dammit. Did the bitch go nowhere alone?

Furious, the tall fugitive slammed his fist into the wall of the apartment in the lower wards he was squatting in and swore low under his breath.

They were running out of time and the real irony of it was that she didn't even know it. His contact had said they were getting ready to scrub the project and that meant disposal of all the failed experiments.

No. He was wrong. The real irony was that not only did she not know they were running out of time, she was the reason for it.

He didn't need this delay. There were too many other things that needed to be done.

Sucking in a deep breath he calmed himself. Fine. She wanted to play hardball, they'd do this the hard way.

* * *

"The image is not so good." Kasumi held her omni-tool up showing the profile of a tall rugged man with a buzzed top and strong jaw line. He was turning away from the omni-tool, already trying to outrun the thief when she'd captured the image.

"It matches what little I've seen of him." Shepard frowned studying the profile.

There was something almost familiar about him though she could swear she'd never met him before. Or maybe he was one of the throng of fans she'd met with since Saren's death. No way would she remember the details on all of them.

"He is a fighter, I'll give him that." Kasumi continued. "When he realized I was there he hit first and then ran."

"He's easily twice your size, too, Kasumi." Shepard murmured, her eyes narrowing. "Any resulting fight would not have been to your advantage, but he ran anyway."

"That's what a thief does when she doesn't want to be caught." Kasumi pointed out.

Shepard nodded her agreement and lifted her eyes to the slender woman. "The question is…what was he trying to steal?"

"He was watching you." Kasumi added. "I didn't like the look on his face. Too angry. I think you better be careful of this one."

"Maybe the next time we go on the Citadel, I'll go by myself and let you follow behind. Stealthy like." Shepard murmured before motioning that Kasumi could turn her omni-tool off.

"Except now he's aware of me. He'll be expecting something if you suddenly break habit like that." Kasumi countered. "Better to continue as normal."

Shepard nodded slowly, but her expression was unhappy. "I'll ask Joker and EDI to run the image through Alliance and C-Sec databases. You're right, it's not a good image, but maybe we'll get lucky. Thanks, Kasumi. Why don't you have Chakwas check your jaw out?"

A slow smile touched the slender woman's lips. "Perhaps I will convince her to share her brandy with me and tell stories of you."

"She hasn't served with me long enough to have any good stories to tell." Shepard responded with a confident smile.

"Yes, but she will have known of others who did and she will have asked." Kasumi laughed and silently slipped down the hall while Shepard entered the elevator.

She wouldn't know the best story, Shepard mused with a faint, bittersweet smile as the elevator took her straight up to her cabin. Of the five that had been part of it, four had died on Akuze and the Alliance Military still had no clue who had done it or how they'd managed to get the entire thing pink without anyone noticing before inspection.

"I see we have new fish." Kaidan was standing in front of the tanks, shirt in hand as he looked at the little swimmers. "I thought we discussed taking a break from fish for a little while."

"We did. This morning. I didn't get them until after lunch. By my count that was a break of seven hours. Much too long." Shepard agreed with a smile as she joined him, her palm sliding over the scar tissue on his left hip to the coarse hairs beneath his belly button. "You know, if women ran the universe, you wouldn't be allowed to wear a shirt at all in public. Maybe not pants, either."

He pulled her strong against his side, his mouth finding hers. "I take it I'm forgiven for not telling you what my little sessions with Miranda are about." He nipped at the corner of her mouth and then sucked in a deep breath as her hand followed the trail of hair to her goal.

"Sure you don't want to tell me?" She asked in over bright tones, stroking him.

He closed his eyes, his spine shuddering slightly in pleasure. "You do not play fair, Shepard."

"I play to win, Alenko." There was warning as well as humor in her voice as her nails scraped sensitive flesh before pulling away. "But I understand if you don't want to talk about it. I can be patient. It's not like I haven't got better things to do." The tone was careless as she pulled her hand from his pants and moved toward her desk.

"Oh, you do now." Kaidan had her by the back of the shirt, pulling her back against him, his mouth hot on hers as his hands found soft, warm flesh.

"Oh, you want to talk about it now?" She laughed a bit breathlessly until he cut off her words with a kiss.

"No and you're wearing your bra too tight again." Kaidan scowled pulling her shirt off over her head and then plucking at the tight weave holding back her breasts.

Shepard gave a shrug that interfered as he peeled the elastic back, setting her free to a gentle bounce. "Less interference when I aim my Widow or my Cain. Easier fit into my armor. Less pain from bouncing if I have to sprint anywhere. Plus, you usually kiss it all better." The last was purred as his fingers rubbed at the red marks left by the bra.

He kissed her, a long, slow savor as she rubbed against his naked chest, her fingers deep in his thick hair.

There were times when his sweetness surprised her. When his large hands, calloused from daily weapons practice, could be so gentle with her, cherish her as if she were the finest of porcelain figurines and he was afraid she would break.

Then there were times like now. Those same hands would grip and squeeze and tease and bruise all in his private quest to make her scream his name at the top of her lungs knowing full well that Commander Shepard did not scream. Ever. He would demand it of her, devise small, delicious punishments for her failure to bend to his will and he would push them both to the edge…and then send them crashing over, her name panting from his lips, her only sound a soft, utterly feminine groan.

"Someday, Shepard." He muttered, nipping her jaw as he pulled her to the shower.

She gave him the wicked, sexy smile she reserved just for him, not resisting. "I double dog dare you to try, Kaidan."

* * *

"I have a meeting on the Citadel I have to be to." Kaidan informed her as she sat crossed legged on the floor in front of the fish tank cleaning her Widow.

"Gee, I hope I didn't make you late for it." She blinked too wide, too innocent eyes at him and had him laughing.

"Please. Do you know how often I tell you I have a meeting with Udina just so you'll try and delay me thinking you're pissing him off?" He crouched in front of her and loved the flash of temper that sparked her eyes. "The only reason I'm telling you now is because Anderson is starting to question why I like meeting with Udina so much."

Shepard tilted her head at him, temper banked in favor of a more pressing concern. "You're wearing armor to this meeting. You don't when you're with Anderson or Udina."

"It's a contact. Information I need has come in." He agreed with a nod. "I'll be in the lower Wards and no. You can't come with me."

Her mouth closed on the unspoken question.

"As much as I would love it…"

"I am about a subtle as a Krogan in a mating ritual." Shepard paraphrased with a roll of her eyes.

"I think I said it more politely." Kaidan leaned forward and kissed her. "I'm hoping that the information I get tonight will bring you into what Miranda and I have been up to. It could be the final part of the problem."

She studied him, her light blue eyes serious. "I hope so. I know you don't want me losing sleep over it, Kaidan, but I don't like the fact that you are. And I really don't like the fact you are sharing this with Miranda but not me."

"Innocence lost can never be regained, Kaet." He whispered softly. "You will know and it will hurt you. It will change you. Whatever I can do to blunt that, I will do."

"The only reason I'm allowing this is because we both know I'd act the exact same way if positions were reversed." Shepard said in sour tones.

"You're allowing it because you trust me." Kaidan corrected, but there was a note of wonder in his voice. "You know I would never hurt you. Not on purpose. You trust me…my judgment…that when the time is right I'll tell you."

Uncomfortable, she gave a small shrug.

"Shepard…you don't trust many people. You demand their loyalty and give your own…to an extent. But they are never allowed in your walls. They are never allowed to know what you think about certain matters. How you feel or what hurts you." He pushed a hand through her hair, cupping her head and forcing her to look at him when her inclination was to look anywhere else if it meant discussing emotions. "You let me in and I will never abuse that trust." She opened her mouth but he cut her off with a kiss and a laugh. "Yes, Shepard. I know. You'll shoot me in the ass if I ever do."

She frowned. "Great. I'm becoming predictable."

He laughed and stood. "I'll be back late, not sure when. Don't wait up."

She snorted in derision and went back to cleaning her gun.

Kaidan laughed and left their room.


	2. Chapter 2

"Didn't think you'd be fool enough to show."

Kaidan's eyes moved to the shadows, searching for the source of the voice even as he carefully skirted around debris from the attack on the Citadel that had yet to be cleaned up. The entire area was posted off limits due to dangerous conditions but Kaidan had a fairly good idea he was far from the first to meet here in a clandestine manner.

"John Scheplieu?" He called the name, trying to gain a bead on the person.

"Yeah. Over here." A shadow moved among some of the darkest crevices of the poorly lit area and a hand beckoned. "I'm going to scan you for surveillance mods. Can't ever be too careful when you work with Cerberus."

"I don't work with Cerberus." Kaidan answered in flat tones.

"Yeah, Cerberus, Alliance, whatever. Dig deep enough, the roots are the same." The voice continued as an omni-tool flared to life. "I need you to walk five paces forward to be in optimal scanning range. Don't try anything."

"Why don't you walk five paces forward so I can see you?" Kaidan responded.

A low, almost admiring laugh. "Because I'm the one with the information you want so you walk forward five paces or I simply disappear."

Kaidan paused, considering. Something had his instincts screaming to be careful. "No. I don't move a step until I can see you. I don't care what information you have."

"That's too bad. Since it is your girlfriend we're talking about. That I have vids of." The omni-tool flashed through screens until a black, vaguely humanoid object on a long medical table was shown. The image gradually morphed through time lapse to pink and red meat with tubes and pumps puncturing muscle as the form became more human looking. The process paused just as dark hair began to sprout on a skull still only partially covered with dermis. "Of course, she's much prettier now. What with being alive and all."

Involuntarily Kaidan took a step forward, his eyes on the images. "That's…Shep…" He cut the words off, trying to not vomit, the sick feeling in his gut nearly overwhelming him. No. That wasn't his Shepard. She was the brilliant, vibrant, _living_ woman who'd shuddered in his arms so recently. Not that…husk. Not that meat.

"I have documentation of how they brought her back. What they used. Wilson was a bit of a braggart…greedy as hell, too, but dead men don't have to be paid, so that all worked out."

"Wait a minute." Kaidan's head snapped up, tearing his attention from the horror on the omni-tool. "Wilson tried to kill Shepard while she was still in the coma. Miranda Lawson was there. She saw him. He tried to cover it up as a medical error, but she knew better."

"Maybe I thought there should be only one." Scheplieu responded in dry humor, stepping forward so Kaidan could see his face fully for the first time.

A face he had been searching for months for in an effort to protect the woman he loved.

"You bastard." Kaidan stalked toward the figure, biotics flaring a blue corona of light that lit up the ground in front of him…but not in time for him to evade the pit at his feet, deliberately concealed in anticipation of just such an anger driven attack. Staggering, he lunged for the edge, trying to stop his fall and failed.

The bottom wasn't far, twelve feet or so, but he hit it badly, his left foot wrenching beneath him before he threw his weight to the side instinctively to ease the pain.

"Temper, temper, Commander Alenko." The big man laughed crouching near the top, fingers dancing over his omni-tool.

A bright white light flashed in the small pit and Kaidan felt all power in his armor and omni-tool die. He tapped communications and wasn't surprised by the lack of response.

"Don't worry. Killing you would bring down an unhealthy amount of attention from a lot of parties." Scheplieu chuckled. "I need your girlfriend to be cooperative and this is the best way to get what I need."

"Obviously you don't know Shepard very well." Kaidan said in dry tones, his eyes on the other man, but his attention on the walls about him. "You'd be better off just asking her for what you want."

"This isn't about what I want." Came the flat answer. "It's about what I've promised and I keep my promises."

Confusion flickered briefly in Kaidan's eyes. "People who keep promises aren't usually ones who kidnap others."

A flash of white teeth answered him. "I never claimed to be consistent…just stubborn." He rose to his full height, gazing down at his prisoner. "Catch."

Kaidan's hands instinctively rose in time with the blue barrier about him as several packages flew down.

"MREs and water. I might not be able to get back here for awhile and I wouldn't leave a dog to starve to death." Scheplieu tossed a couple more and a blanket.

Kaidan tussled with the latter as it unfolded on its way down, obscuring his view. When he could see again, the other man was gone.

* * *

Shepard made her way down the stairs to the bowels of the ship, her steps naturally quiet but not intentionally muted. As a result she was rewarded with the unlikely sight of Jack cooing at the fish in the octagonal tank bolted to the wall above the pallet where the convict slept.

"Told you they were relaxing." Shepard commented and Jack jerked back away from them.

Pretending nonchalance, the younger woman swaggered over to a crate and leaned against it. "They're still alive. How are yours doing?"

"Fine." Shepard looked at the happy little fish and wondered if they didn't look healthier than her own. Maybe she should have Chakwas check hers out. Or Mordin. "I need a favor, Jack."

"Really?" Jack's eyes held a sort of puppy dog pleased look that made Shepard uncomfortable.

"This asshole following me?" Shepard decided to ignore the fish and faced the convict.

"The one who punched Kasumi?" Ah, there was the sadistic delight Shepard had been wary of. "Yeah?"

"Whatever reason he has a hard-on for me, he knows we know about him. That we're watching for him." When in Jack Land speak the Jack Language. Especially if your boyfriend wasn't around to take exception. "That means a game change. He has to try something else if he's going to get what he wants."

"Why not just hunt this fucker down and kill him a lot?" Jack asked with a scowl. "Easier that way."

"So far he's been good enough I can't track him." Shep's own scowl of irritation was an odd mirror to Jack's. "But he can't get me, either, and that means he has to try something else. I'm expecting him to stage some sort of emergency-maybe an evac of the Normandy. Maybe something on the Citadel as we're going through. Something that's going to create chaos. Chaos makes it easier to try and get me. That's where you come in."

Jack smiled, a child in a candy store being told she could have all she wanted. "I'm good at chaos." She all but purred.

"Yep. Which means you won't freak and won't distract easy. Oddly enough, Jack, you're the calm in the center of the shitstorm."

"Thank you." Jack grinned and Shepard laughed.

"I want you to grab this guy. Don't kill him, just grab him. I need to know what his agenda is." Shepard flicked on her omni-tool and brought up the pictures Kasumi had managed to get.

"Looks like he goes to my barber." Jack observed. "Big fucker, too. Wonder if he's big all over."

"Catch him and I'll let you do the strip search to find out." Shepard said without a qualm. She would also make sure Kaidan was in the room to keep everyone unmolested. "It means tagging along after me for the next little while, though."

"That's not a problem. I like tagging after you, Shepard." Jack grinned. "There's usually killing involved."

Shepard sighed. "I know. Thanks, Jack. The fish look good." Too good, in fact, she mused as she nodded once and left.

What could Jack possibly be doing to keep her fish alive and healthy that Shepard wasn't doing? They were just stupid fish. No way was she going to start cooing to them the way Jack had been.

"Commander, you have a new message at your private terminal." Chambers called in her cheery voice as Shepard exited the elevator.

Geez, she hated those words. Just for a day she wanted Grunt to be in Chambers' shoes. All those wanting to leave her a message would first have to fight the young Krogan so that only worthy messages would be allowed. If the console annoyed him too much, he could pry it off and slam it into the wall.

_**It's 2 PM, Shepard. Do you know where your boyfriend is?**_

An image file of Kaidan standing in some kind of narrow pit, his hands on the walls, obviously searching for a way out, was attached. As he moved, he limped. An injury to his leg or his ankle but the images were too dark for her tell if blood were involved or not.

_Rage._ Pure rage such as a Krogan could only dream of.

Shepard's eyes slit, her nostrils flaring as she breathed through her mouth and inhaled through her nose, controlling the emotion as a second message pinged.

_**Lower wards. Alley next to Chora's Den. Now. Alone.**_

A woman was never alone when she had her Widow with her.

* * *

He had to get out of here.

Kaidan reached up, hands running over the smooth walls searching for any kind of a hold or opening that he could exploit and use to get out of the hole. His movements became more jerky, more panicked and he paused, clenching his fists together, pressing his forehead against the cold, oily metal.

The bastard was after Shepard. He had deliberately set Kaidan up knowing that Shepard would react if she thought he was in danger.

A bitter laugh left Kaidan's lips. Of course she would react. He was her weakness.

"Knock it off, Alenko." Sucking in a deep breath through his nostrils he focused until the blue flaring about him had faded and his control returned.

Okay.

He couldn't climb his way out and shouting had produced no results. He was stuck here until someone came and found him or Scheplieu decided to come free him.

Unacceptable. He could do this. He _had_ to do this. That bastard was going after Shepard and he couldn't…

Emotion choked him and he tried to force it back, the images of her dead body flashing through his mind, quicker and more frenetic the more he tried to focus. Blue sparked about him, snapping and snarling with the fervor of his mood. Breathing became difficult. He couldn't focus, couldn't calm down…could only feel, only react. Like Vyrnnus…

"Enough!" Kaidan shouted the word slamming his fist against the wall in front of him.

The pain cooled him, cleansed him. Through the throbbing agony of skin busted knuckles he found his center. Inhaling deep and calming, he opened his eyes. Eyes more blue than brown.

He'd spent weeks meditating with Samara, exploring what he could and could not do with his powers. Channeling them, controlling them. Blasting out at a target within range wasn't difficult for him and hadn't been since he was seventeen. Gently lifting, moving and then setting down a target in another place, that was more difficult, required more intent focus. More finesse.

Fortunately the woman he loved was also a bit of an adrenaline junkie who liked it when he made her fly about the cargo hold of the Normandy.

_ Shepard…_

"Focus!" He snarled deliberately clenching his abused hand, relishing the pain.

Samara had demonstrated many times in the cargo hold how she could lift herself, move herself and land with a grace he would never in a thousand years he didn't have of his life, be able to duplicate. She had told him she believed doing so was within his abilities. That he could move his own body just as she did, it was simply focusing the biotics into a much narrower channel, similar to his barrier. Just combine it with a lift. A _gentle_ lift.

He could do this. He had to do this.

Closing his eyes, Kaidan stood straight and tall, his palms toward the ground for no reason other than they felt comfortable that way. Focus. Lift. Get free. The words became a chant in his mind, over and over, helping him.

Focus. Lift. Get free.

He was ready. He would open his eyes and he would begin…

"Oh, shit."

Kaidan looked down about a distance of twenty feet to where the ground was. The pit was an even farther distance below that and still directly below him.

Shock destroyed his focus and he began to plummet. Determination warred with panic and won as his blue biotic field encased him once more and the fall lurched to a slower descent, enough that when he hit the bottom of the pit again the only pain was his already injured left ankle.

Angry, elated, disgusted and hopeful, Kaidan stared at the top of the pit once more and gave a vocal tribute to Shepard by uttering some of her favorite and his most disapproved curse words.

Feeling better, vowing to never let Shepard know just how much relief he'd found in swearing, knowing it would only encourage her, Kaidan clenched his jaw and began again.

* * *

Shepard entered the alley, her eyes immediately going to the shadows where she could just barely make out a figure leaning against the wall.

"Wow. I know you were raised better than this." The voice was male and almost higher pitched than her own, the words rote, nearly monotone.

"Than what?" Shepard countered, moving closer, her eyes scanning for the trap, the attack, while her words bought her time.

"Ever allowing someone to get close enough to you that they can become a liability, a weakness." The shadow moved. "You should have written Kaidan Alenko off as dead and come after me without hesitation."

"If Kaidan Alenko is dead, you'll get your wish." Shepard advised in almost casual tones. "I was raised with the understanding that if your enemies hit you, you hit them back harder until they were dead. That's if you haven't already taken them out first."

"Yeah. That does sound like Mantha." A snort of derision, this time.

Shepard paused, mid-step, the name startling her. "What is this all about? What do you want?"

The shadow was silent and she heard surprise in its echo. Whatever he had been expecting, this enemy of hers, it hadn't been ignorance.

"He didn't tell you." The words were just short of stunned. "All the searching he did, all the preparation and he told you nothing?"

"He? Who?" Shepard demanded.

"Alenko. Dammit." The word was weary and the shadow moved into the light.

Shepard stared at him, stunned, memory more than half her lifetime old crashing about her as she recalled a younger version of the man before her, recalled that same voice and finally understood why the image Kasumi had managed to get had been familiar. "Adam?" She said in shock, her eyes darting over the strong, scruffy jaw and cheekbones, the pale blue eyes.

"No." He said with regret. "And I am sorry, Kaetayne."

The sorrow was a warning she was seconds too late to heed as a shock burst through her nervous system and shut her down, her body gracefully falling back, knees bent and arms akimbo, unconscious before she hit the ground.

* * *

Scheplieu gathered the unconscious woman up in his arms, surprised that she weighed more than she looked, relieved that she seemed to be okay, just sleeping.

She remembered Adam.

Pain, bittersweet and familiar, lanced through his soul, moisture sparking his eyes.

That was good, he thought as he carefully positioned her body in a crate and sealed it. He checked the oxygen filters to make sure they were working and then guided the anti-grav platform it rested on toward the nearest lift.

Adam should be remembered. He was the reason they were both alive.

"You didn't hurt her, did you?" A young female voice asked.

Scheplieu swore under his breath, shoving his Hand Cannon back into its holster. "Dammit, Tayne, I told you to stay away."

The slender woman stepped from the shadows her armor had helped her blend perfectly with and gave a half smile. "I was worried you would have to fight. I thought maybe, if I was here, she'd listen."

Scheplieu's mouth kicked up in a one sided smirk. "Yeah, well, apparently your aunt isn't as tough as everyone would like to think. She went down real easy."

"Yes, she is." Tayne countered. "She let you catch her. She thinks you'll take her to Kaidan Alenko. Once she's with him…she thinks they can escape together. She planned this."

"Sure she did, kid." Scheplieu answered trying to keep the patronizing out of his voice.

"You didn't see them together when they were at Mom…Mantha's." The teenager stumbled over the name but lifted her chin, determined, daring him to say something about it. "How they worked together when they took out that base. They didn't even have to say anything, they knew how the other would move and what they would do."

Scheplieu got the crate moving again. "Yeah? If they're so close, then why does she not have a clue as to what's going on, Tayne? He hasn't told her anything. He's spent weeks learning about _**Project Phoenix **_and he didn't tell her word one about it."

A laugh much too cynical for such a young woman, burst from her lips. "What? Tell her that her childhood was manipulated from the day she was born? That she was deemed a failed experiment, one that was not worthy to continue to live? That the sister she sees as caring and loving…" The words choked with emotion and Tayne cut them off, swallowing hard, not looking at him.

"Tayne…" Scheplieu's voice was soft with regret and understanding.

"No. I understand perfectly why Kaidan Alenko said nothing to her." Tayne swallowed the tears and allowed the anger. "I wish someone had been as courteous of me."

"Tayne…" He tried again.

"She better not be hurt. And you better let Kaidan Alenko go." Tayne stated, her pale eyes, so like Shepard's, glaring at him.

"Once you're all off the Citadel, I'll let him go." Scheplieu promised.

"Good. Aunt Kaet would be very unhappy if something were to happen to him." That pronouncement made, the teenager took two steps toward the shadows and disappeared, her cloaked form swallowed up by the dark.

Scheplieu gave a shake of his head and continued on.

* * *

His ribs were screaming at him from the multiple crashes against the side of the pit. He was fairly certain something in his left ankle was seriously messed up from the repeated hits against the bottom from his many near misses. Blood was trickling from his nose only to be wiped impatiently away.

He could do this. He _knew_ he could.

Shoving exhaustion and pain aside, Kaidan focused again. Blue mist rose about him, swirling, dissipating, reforming elsewhere, cocooning him as he settled his thoughts, settled his determination and once more attempted to lift himself from the pit.

Focus. Lift. Get free.

He didn't close his eyes this time, watching as he rose, concentrating on going vertical for the moment, waiting, knowing horizontal must come when he was high enough to clear the top of the pit. His ribs would thank him for it.

Exhaustion pulled at him. Blood dripped from his nose and down his armor. He was too close to burning out and too close to the top of the pit to stop. Just a little more. That was all he needed. He had more, he could give more if it meant getting out and getting to Shepard.

Shepard…_Kaet_…

His focus flickered for a moment as memory stole over him. She had been in front of her locker on the Normandy, they'd just been shut out by the Council, by politics and they knew Saren was going to attack, going to unleash Hell on every sentient species in the Universe in the form of the Reapers if they didn't stop him.

It was the first time she had let him see her vulnerable.

She'd sagged against the lockers, wondering what more they should do, could do and she'd looked up at him, allowing him his first real look at the woman beneath the warrior. The woman who needed, just for a moment, to share the burden she carried with someone else and beyond all hope, beyond all expectation, beyond anything he had ever done to deserve it, she had chosen him.

The moment when he knew he loved her and was willing to break the rules he'd held too so strongly throughout his military career.

_ Now, Alenko, now!_

He'd cleared the top of the pit and began to move horizontal.

Kaidan stumbled to the ground next to the top of the pit, his ankle screaming in agony, his implant on fire. Sparks and streamers shooting through his vision as a dull throb became a loud booming bass drum.

He was free.

And after a short rest, he was going to find a terminal, warn Shepard and then hunt down the son of a bitch who'd dared threaten her.


	3. Chapter 3

She remembered being hungry. Always being hungry. Fighting with strays for scraps of rotten food. Cold was next. The nights she shivered in corners, trying to keep silent so anyone hunting for sport or prey wouldn't find her. Silence became her mantra, her code. Hungry? Keep silent so others wouldn't know and take advantage of your weakness. In pain? Never let your enemy hear it. Lonely? Get over it. You were still breathing and no one else was ever going to care.

Adam's voice was the first beautiful thing she remembered in her world.

She'd been sick, some street fever that she would either survive on her own or die under because she was never going to the med clinics. Med clinics asked questions, probed, did tests and other stuff. Bad stuff. She would rather die than be in one again.

Adam had brought her soup. She'd thought it was poisoned and drank it anyway preferring a quick death to the pain she was suffering. Only after she'd drank it did he admonish her not to be so trusting. Poison would have been quick, that beautiful voice told her, but a sedative could have incapacitated her and let others do whatever they wanted with her.

She'd stabbed him with the knife she'd stolen months before and he'd laughed.

Then he'd taught her how to survive the streets. How to fight and how to infiltrate. Given her the first sniper rifle she had ever held in her hands and showed her how to scope an enemy. How to choose the optimal cover to fire from.

Then he'd disappeared.

Shepard opened her eyes and stared at the blue shimmer of a stasis field flickering about her.

Sitting up, her heart surging with hope…and found herself alone in the prison.

Where was Kaidan?

No, she wouldn't think about that. Not just yet. Right now, she had a bad guy she was extremely pissed off at.

One who was coming out of the bathroom completely naked, a towel scrubbing the recently buzzed stubble on his head.

"Really?" Scorn dripped from her voice and she was viciously pleased at the way he jumped and quickly draped the towel in front of his waist, a blush staining his cheeks. "If you waving your pencil about is supposed to intimidate me, you're going to need to rethink your strategy. My boyfriend is bigger."

The blush deepened, but the eyes narrowed. "He'd have to be to deal with you."

Shepard arched her eyebrow, unmoved by his comment. "Where is Kaidan Alenko?"

The embarrassment faded to calculation and her captor turned his back on her, dressing in his armor as if she weren't in the room, weren't carefully watching, searching for any weakness.

"You were supposed to remain asleep for the duration of the trip." He finally said as he buckled on his chest plate.

Arching an eyebrow at him, she leaned her weight to one hip and glared. "Oh? Are you going somewhere?"

"We." He answered in short tones. "We are leaving the Citadel as soon as I have some legal matters cleared up."

That wasn't good, Shepard mused, but let nothing show on her face.

"You did hear the part about the boyfriend, right?" And if he'd done anything to make that a past tense, there would be no corner in this Universe he could hide from her in. "As flattering as this whole kidnapping to get my attention thing has _**not**_ been, I'm unavailable."

That had him laughing. "Thank whatever Maker you choose to acknowledge." The words were so fervent that she was actually offended for a brief moment. "We'll have a visitor soon. Someone you know. They can explain everything."

"Are you Cerberus?" Shepard demanded, her arms crossing over her chest as she glared at him. "Because this whole set up is a bit low class for Timmy." She motioned to the shabby, dirty apartment.

"Timmy who?" Her kidnapper questioned, genuinely confused.

"The Illusive Man." Shepard enunciated each word with disdain. "Or are you one of those that call him Tim?"

For a moment he stared at her and then laughed. "Timmy. I like that. The prick deserves to be Timmy."

"Where is Kaidan Alenko?" She decided to try again since they were such good buddies now.

The laughter died and pale eyes studied her. Compassion softened his craggy features. "He's alive. He's well. I just needed him to get to you and stay out of the way."

"Oh, well, I feel better." Sarcasm dripped from her voice as she stared him down. "I've always been a bit leery of kidnappers in the past, but you have taught me you are really a kind hearted, humane bunch whom I should trust. I wish you were my daddy."

"Look at my face, Shepard." Anger twisted those features in question as he stomped across the room. "Adam's face! I'm not your father, I'm your brother and I'm trying to keep you alive. _All of you!_" The last three words were spat as he grabbed his gun from a table against the far wall.

_"What did you do to my Widow?"_ The words were almost a shriek of outrage that would have done Ambassador Udina proud as she stared at pieces of sniper rifle scattered across that same table.

Smirking, the soon to be dead man picked up the barrel. "Sweet weapon. You take fine care of it, too."

"No one is allowed to touch my Widow." Shepard's voice was hoarse with rage. "Not even my boyfriend is allowed to field strip her. No one touches her but me!"

"Oh, touch her like this?" He taunted and deliberately fumbled the barrel, dropping it to the floor.

Mouth open in shocked horror, Shepard stared at the fallen part of her favorite weapon. After several moments of searching her imagination and not finding a death horrible enough for her to threaten him with, she sucked in a shallow breath and glared at him.

"I'm going to kill you. A lot." She promised as he picked the barrel up. "Once you're dead I will go to Timmy and promise him anything he wants if he'll bring you back so I can _kill you all over again!_"

Her words wiped any humor from his face and he placed the gun part on the table once more. "Timmy is the one who deserves to die." The words were flat and held a promise. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Don't rush on my account." She snapped back as the door slid closed behind him.

Where was Kaidan?

And what the hell did that asshole mean, her brother?

Irritation was exhaled as her eyes darted about her prison, searching for a weakness she could exploit. She was going to get out of here. She was going to find Kaidan and she was going to make that son of a bitch pay for touching her Widow.

* * *

Kaidan had stumbled for what seemed like hours before finding a communications terminal. After a fumbled first attempt he managed to input the Normandy's public contact code, the one given to all crew, and pinged the ship.

"Normandy…shit, Kaidan, you're alive!" Joker broke off, his eyes on the image.

"Where's Shepard?" Kaidan winced as the light from the nearby neon signs stabbed at him. No. He didn't have time for a migraine now. If he could just hold it off… "Joker, get Shepard on the line, now."

"You're on a lower ward." Joker said as if Kaidan didn't already know it. "Kaidan, I'm sending Grunt and Garrus. They'll be there in twenty. Stay there."

"Where is Shepard?" Kaidan demanded, a cold pit in his stomach. There had been another time when Joker had given him news about Shepard that he hadn't wanted to hear.

Memories of the blackened, barely recognizable as human husk flashed through his mind again.

"…Chakwas look you over. What happened?" Joker's word came in clearer and Kaidan realized they were directed at him.

"Where's Shepard?" He needed to see her, talk to her. Or was she dead? That black body on the table…

"Kaidan, Garrus is going to stop by Dr Michel's med clinic and pick her up. You'll have someone there, soon. Just hold it together, big guy." Joker's voice was oddly serious, the tones holding a concern he usually reserved for the Normandy and not any living creature.

She was dead and Joker didn't want to tell him. Not again.

That shriveled and crusty, falling apart corpse, that was Shepard. She was gone. Or had she ever come back to him? Had he dreamed it? The desperate regrets of a deranged man?

"Where the fuck is Shepard?" Kaidan hissed, the words low, but his brain throbbing with their force.

Joker's expression was sick. "She's offline. She got a message a couple of hours ago showing you in trouble and she took off. No contact since then. Thane and Kasumi are trying to track her, but she's dropped off the grid."

Unacceptable.

Kaidan shoved away from the terminal, ignoring Joker's calls for him to return, to wait for Garrus and Grunt.

He could find Shepard. He would find her.

The nice thing about the lower wards was if you were willing, anything could be had for a price. Using the credit chits stashed in his belt…money he thought he might have to use to buy information from John Scheplieu…Kaidan bought a new power source to his Omni-tool. The price was outrageous and meant to be haggled down, but he didn't have time and his rush seemed to offend the Salarian trader who'd taken his money with disgust. There hadn't been enough left for a new power source for his armor, but he had managed a low grade med-gel that had taken a lot of the edge off the hurt in his ankle and left him more mobile than he had been.

Kaidan would take what he could get.

With a powered up omni-tool he was closer to finding Shepard. All he had to do was access the tracking program he'd installed weeks ago without her permission or knowledge. He hadn't put it on her body…any tracker would have needed to be sub-dermal and such invasion of her body after everything Timmy and Cerberus had done to her would have been a betrayal. So he'd done the second best thing knowing that while she would change armor mods with her mood, there was one thing Kaet Shepard never left home without.

Her Widow.

Using a timeframe when she'd been having drinks with Kasumi and Garrus at the bar on the Normandy, sweating the whole time he'd field stripped the weapon, praying he didn't mess something up and damage the weapon he wasn't entirely sure she didn't love more than him, he'd placed the tracker and quickly reassembled the weapon.

He was counting on the greed of whoever had gone after Shepard, too. The Widow, distinct as Shepard's and customized to her specifications and skills, was a valuable piece of hardware. There were collectors across the galaxy who were still weighing the benefits versus the cons of stealing Shepard's Widow Maker to add to a hidden collection. Kasumi had fielded no less than four requests and laughed about them with Kaidan and Shepard.

Whoever had taken Shepard would keep that weapon nearby. As a trophy if nothing else.

The program on his omni-tool lit up.

Kaidan smiled and limped his way toward his goal.

* * *

John rolled his eyes as he entered the apartment and saw the supposedly empty stasis field where Shepard had been imprisoned when he left.

"Oh, my." He said in loud, badly exaggerated tones. "The field is empty. She must have escaped. She couldn't possibly be an Infiltrator with cloaking abilities who is able to hide from my sight."

The chair smashed against the back of his head driving him to the ground.

A second blow hit his kidneys and left them screaming in pain even as his armor was already healing him. The kick that came to his jaw wasn't unexpected…it's what he would have done…and he was too late to dodge or ride the blow. His head snapped back as black and red spiders danced on the corners of his vision.

"I am an Infiltrator, moron. I'm also damn good at tactics and staying in that cage was a losing bid." Shepard's harsh voice penetrated the growing darkness.

No. She was going to ruin everything. Adam's sacrifice would have been for nothing…

A second kick and his world went dark.

* * *

Shepard resisted a third kick, choosing instead to crouch and make certain his vitals confirmed that he was unconscious.

Part of her, the warrior part, wanted him up, wanted to fight him with everything in her until the rage she felt was ebbed and calmed. The logical part, the part that was carefully controlling the tide of panic she felt at have not one clue where Kaidan was or if he was alive, that part warned her that there was no certainty she would win in a hand to hand battle against her ex-captor. He was bigger, stronger and he moved like she did which meant he had training. The scars about his body were an extra warning that this man who looked like Adam knew how to fight.

Better that she strike first, strike hard and get out.

But not without her Widow.

"Poor baby." Shepard crooned heading toward the table where her favorite weapon lay in pieces. "I'll make that bad man pay for ever touching you, I promise."

A snorting laugh from the door caught her attention. "I should have known." A familiar husky voice told her.

Shepard whipped toward the door, her feet quick and light as she abandoned her Widow and put her hands on the warm, breathing body of Kaidan Alenko.

A faint look of surprise crossed his battered and bloody face as he looked down her. "Must be true love, Shepard, for you to choose me over your Widow."

"Kaidan." She breathed his name as she pressed against him, his arms coming about her, tight and reassuring and _here_.

He said nothing, simply holding her, his face buried in her neck, inhaling her scent as if to convince himself that she was alive and well.

"Are you okay?" He finally asked, pulling back enough to look her over, checking for wounds.

"Better than you." She answered scowling at the crusty path of dried blood smeared beneath his nose. Sharp eyes narrowed as she studied him. "How long has your head been hurting?" Her fingers ran lightly over his face, assessing the sources of the blood and what damage had been done.

"Long enough for me to know I'm going to be out of commission for a while." He said with an anger that was self-directed. "I'm sorry…"

"No." She cut him off, shaking her head. "Nothing to be sorry about. You can't control your migraines and you need to stop hating yourself because of it. I'll take you back to the Normandy. I'll be with you." The last was a promise.

Kaidan pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "I need to tell you who he is." He motioned to the unconscious body on the floor.

"Do it after you recover." Shepard said in flat tones and held up a hand as he started to argue with her. "No, Kaidan. That bastard is going to be imprisoned on the Normandy until he turns skeletal and I can use him for a wall decoration. I owe him. For you and for my Widow." Rage lit her eyes and she briefly considered leaving him to go to the unconscious form on the floor and deliver a kick that would break his ribs even through the armor he was wearing.

"Shepard." Kaidan's voice was disapproving and not for the first time Shepard wished he didn't know her well enough to predict when she was going to have a bit of a renegade moment.

"He's lucky you're here. In more ways than one." Shepard answered as a shadow moved near the door. "Jack, we have a prisoner."

The bald woman entered the room, laughing as she looked at the unconscious man. "Yeah. I still wish you'd let me have a go at him after I let you out of the cage."

Shepard gave a one shoulder shrug. "I needed to vent. I still do. Call the Normandy and tell Joker we need a pick up. Send Grunt for the prisoner and I want Garrus as security on Kaidan."

"On me?" Kaidan answered and resisted the urge to rub his forehead. "I'm not the target here, Shepard. You are."

"Non-negotiable." She retorted and cut him off before he could argue. "No! This fits into our rules! You are hurt worse than I am. You are fighting a migraine and we both know that's only going to make it worse when it finally does hit full strength. You will go back to the Normandy or I'll lay you out the way I did Prince Charming over there."

Kaidan's protest was silenced at his studied her face. "His name is John Scheplieu."

Shepard's sharp eyes bore into Kaidan, her expression a mask. "He said he was my brother."

"He is. One of six. He's the only one left alive."

She blinked, absorbing the words. Finally she gave a short nod. "Fine. We'll discuss it later. You're going back to the Normandy."

"Damn, he touched your Widow? Ass-wipe is so dead and doesn't even know it." Jack gave a snorting laugh as her fingers reached out for the barrel.

"Do not repeat his mistake." Shepard snapped but didn't move her gaze from Kaidan.

"Get Miranda to do an intelligence sweep over the apartment. Leave Garrus and Grunt with her for protection." Kaidan advised, his eyelashes fluttering as the light began to bother him again.

"How did you find her?" Jack asked suddenly, large, beautiful eyes slashing toward him with the swiftness of an assassin's knife. "Shepard. I followed her from the Normandy. Moron actually thought she'd play by his 'come alone' rule. Shep ain't stupid. But how'd you know where she was?"

Kaidan's glare was an almost comical mix of pain and irritation as he leveled it toward the convict.

"Good question." Shepard commented crossing her arms over her chest. "How did you find this place?"

"My love for you is so pure, so noble, that it lead me straight to you." He answered.

She arched an eyebrow at him.

There were more than a few fansites on the extranet dedicated to Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko, Hero of the Citadel, a man who had defied the leaders of four species to be with the woman he loved. They spoke of their appreciation of him, their admiration of him and wondered what it would be like to be Shepard and have his love. They followed his heroic deeds with a fanaticism that bordered on obsession, posting various images of what he might look like both dressed and undressed, all to pay homage to what they saw as a noble man full of integrity.

Facing Shepard now, her expression suspicious, the open and accusing Widow with its clearly visible tracker sitting on a table within reach, Kaidan Alenko, decorated soldier and hero, rubbed his forehead, his features crinkling in pain as a low moan escaped his lips. All designed to gain sympathy and distract them from the question.

Suspicion turned to concern. "Jack, take care of the prisoner. I'm getting Kaidan home."

* * *

In the shadows near the apartment where Shepard had so briefly been captured, a tall figure swore viciously, furiously, as her target was escorted past, untouchable. She wasn't a sniper, a coward to hide and shoot from cover, she was a Soldier and right now the odds were so far against her that she had no choice but to retreat and choose to fight another day.

But she was patient. There would be another day.

She left the shadows and retreated to her own hidey hole, never noticing the slight shimmer of a slender figure as it momentarily uncloaked and followed her.

* * *

There was some sort of irony waking up in a stasis cell, John Scheplieu mused as his head throbbed at him, a reminder of two well placed kicks.

Tayne. The kids.

He surged up from the bunk and paused at the bizarre scene before him.

A bald woman dressed mostly in tattoos and a couple of well placed straps was sitting on a table next to a dismantled assault rifle. She held one piece of the barrel in her hands and was carefully painting the surface a shocking neon pink color.

His Avenger assault rifle. His baby. His precious.

Outrage snarled from him, drawing the bald woman's attention. She sent him a vicious smile and continued with her methodical work.

"Shep wanted to make sure you were greeted properly when you woke up." There was a defiant, sadistically pleased tone to the woman's voice that did nothing to derive the low tones of their beauty. "Said she wanted you to feel as at home here as she did with you."

"I never painted her Widow!" John snapped coming as close to the stasis field as he dared.

"No, but you dismembered it. Shep was a very unhappy Shep after that." With mock sympathy she held up the piece she had just finished and blew the paint dry. "She wanted me to remind you that she was raised this way and she hoped you learned the lesson."

Setting aside the rage, he licked his lips and crossed his arms over his chest, weight on one hip. "Where is Shepard? I need to talk to her. Tell her Kaidan Alenko's life depends on it."

A beautiful smile lit up a face oddly clean of tattoos. As if she had wanted to hide her body, disguise it as the tool it was, but her face, who she was, she hadn't been able to touch. "I would tell her, just because you threatened so nicely, but there's a shipboard policy everyone obeys or Shepard gets cranky…and Shepard is a mean bitch when she's angry. Almost as bad as me. When Shepard and Kaidan Alenko are in their cabin together, no one bothers them unless the ship is in danger or there is blood involved."

So Kaidan Alenko was free.

John rubbed the back of his neck, silently cursing. Part of him was relieved, but the other part, the part that was trying to save lives, damned him to hell.

"I need to speak to Commander Shepard."

"Alenko wasn't in good shape." The bald woman shrugged, shifting in her seat as if she had a hard time sitting still. "It will be hours before Shepard shows her face." She picked up another piece and began to paint it.

Swearing, John spun a small circle in the cell. "Tell her I need to talk to her! Tell her Tayne's life is in danger!"

The bald woman gave him a mock kiss of sympathy and ignored his orders.

"If you touch one more part of my gun with that damn paint, I will kill you myself." John snarled at her.

Quick as a slash of a sword, the woman was off the chair and inches away from him, separated by only the stasis barrier. Chin jutted toward him, a killer's smile on her lips and a murderer's lack of hesitation in her eyes, she stared him down, her entire body daring him.

"I'd like you to try. Really, I would." The words were low and lit with a sadist's humor. "Shepard hasn't had a decent fight in weeks and I start getting itchy under my skin when it's been too long, y'know?"

John paused, considering the slight figure in front of him. "Who are you?" He asked, genuinely curious. "One of Shepard's crew, obviously, but who?"

She gave a bark of laughter and returned to her painting. "What? Cerberus didn't give you a dossier on the crew of the Normandy? On the misfits and brokens she collects like others do art?"

"I don't work for Cerberus." There was enough hate in the words that he seemed to gain her attention for the first time.

She studied him. "Then why are you after her? Cerberus is the only one with a hard-on for her right now."

A snort of laughter escaped from him. "You're naïve if you believe that."

"Naïve ain't my speed." She denied showing him the edge of her teeth. "Protecting Shepard is. I owe her and until the debt is squared, I'll take care of her."

He gave her a long study as she continued painting is favorite weapon. "My name is John Scheplieu. Shepard is my youngest sister. She is in danger and I am trying to protect her."

Those beautiful eyes focused on him a bitter laugh on generously painted lips. "Protect her? By taking her boyfriend hostage and beating him all to shit? By putting her in a cage? You sure you don't work for Cerberus? You've got their same sick idea of protection."

John stared at her. "What happened to Kaidan Alenko?" The words were cold. "He was fine the last time I saw him."

"Yeah? Must've been before his face got all beat in. Guess he didn't want your protection, either." She sneered.

What had happened? Mantha? But why would she leave him alive? Mantha had actual programmed simulations of how to kill Alenko in various ways, no way would she not choose one of them if he'd been in her power. Mantha would do it for revenge and she would do it knowing it would hurt Shepard.

Closing his eyes, rubbing his forehead, he swore under his breath. Was he really any different? He'd done exactly as Mantha had…used Alenko as a tool and not thought about the consequences.

"Hey. You actually look worried." The woman said, her voice low and curious.

"Alenko wasn't supposed to be hurt." John scrubbed a hand over his face. "He was supposed to be safe. I was trying to keep everyone safe." And screwing it all up.

With a snarl John kicked his cot hard enough to send it flying across the small cell.

"He has a migraine." The words were soft, an offering of sorts. "Some damage to his ankle, but Chakwas fixed him up good. Nothing she could do for the migraine. He just has to get through those." A small shudder in the woman's shoulders told him more than she wanted and he filed that away for future reference.

"So, who's the big bad after Shepard now?" Shoulders back, the woman stared at him defiantly.

"What is your name?" John asked as he shoved the cot to the side and sat down on the floor, his back against the wall.

"Why do you want to know?" She demanded, belligerent now. "So we can be fuck buddies?"

He blinked mild blue eyes at her. "I don't need your name for that." He pointed out and she laughed, the sound harsh.

"Jack. Call me Jack." She returned to painting his weapon, her strokes almost vicious now, as if she were attacking the weapon with each brush.

"You kill them?" John asked her, one knee up, his wrist resting on it as he watched her.

"I killed lots of thems. Be specific." She snapped back.

"Whoever caused those medical scars I see." John answered, ignoring her anger. "They're old. Like childhood old."

"We're done being pals, okay?" She snapped back and went after his weapon with new gusto.

For a long moment John watched her. The inability she had to sit completely still, the precision she used to cover his favorite weapon with pink, the snarl on her lips as she did so.

"Her name is Samantha Rivers Morganstern." He said and was rewarded with those large, beautiful eyes looking at him. "She's our sister, Shepard's and mine, and she wants both of us dead."

Jack put the paint away and moved to the stasis cell. "Keep talking."

John gave her a nod and did.


	4. Chapter 4

She was a coward.

Oh, she hid it well. Bluffed her way into making others think she was more than she was, but at her core, that deep, dark, secret place she was terrified someone was going to discover someday, Kaet Shepard was a coward.

Case in point…she had allowed Kaidan to carry a burden of knowledge that had nearly gotten him killed. She'd allowed him to remain silent, to not tell her what his little confabs with Miranda were about, because at her core, she was a chicken.

He'd been hurt because of her.

Closing her eyes briefly, Shepard rubbed her forehead before an almost silent moan from the man sleeping so uneasily on the bed had her snapping her attention to him again. She wished there were something she could kill. Some bad guy she could defeat that would leave him pain free whenever his migraines attacked.

Anything was better than sitting here, curled up in a chair near their bed, simply watching him try to sleep away the pain because there was nothing more that she could do. Send her after a mind controlled psychotic puppet? No problem. She'd come out aces. Go up against an entire base of slaves bent on destroying humanity to appease their masters? Hah, been there, done that.

Watch the man she loved writhe in pain and do nothing? She'd rather be shot at.

She should have demanded he tell her. She should never have taken the coward's way out and let him carry the burden alone. Maybe she couldn't prevent all of his migraines, but this one, the pain he was in now…that was on her. He'd forced his abilities to their limits because he was worried about her.

Another low moan and Shepard want to scream. To beat something. To sell her very soul if it would mean he would never hurt like this again.

Loving someone while they hurt sucked and she didn't like it a bit. She didn't like the helplessness…she was frickin' Commander Shepard. She didn't do helpless.

Nice dodge, Shepard. Way to avoid thinking about what you didn't want to think about.

Adam. A man in a stasis cell with his face but a completely different name. A sick feeling in her gut that had her hiding behind her lover's pain so she wouldn't think about how much her life was going to change. A coward's head buried in the sand.

"No…" Kaidan's grey, pain filled features grimaced as he turned in the bed. "Not dead. _Not._"

Not again.

Her eyes closed. Every few weeks, when he was exhausted, when Anderson and Udina had pushed him farther than his limits could take, Kaidan would have The Dream. He'd told her about it…after she'd threatened to drug him the next time it happened if he didn't let her help…about how in the dream he was aboard the first Normandy, dressed in that hideous pink armor again, running through the ship searching for her. In the dream he was always too late and he watched helplessly as her corpse floated past, towed toward the nearest gravity field.

"Black. Husk." The words were broken and startled her.

This was new. Shepard frowned and left the chair to crawl across the bed to him. At first, uncertain if she should touch him or not, she simply lay next to him, her eyes on his troubled, pain filled features.

"Not Shepard. Alive." The last was a plea that broke her heart.

"Hey, I'm here, Kaidan. I'm alive, I promise." She whispered and sat up, her back against the wall, shifting him until his head was pillowed on her stomach, her fingers brushing gently through his hair.

"Husk! Meat and tubes." He mumbled and a tear scaled a path down her stomach.

Meat and tubes? Where had she heard that before? Frowning, crooning softly to him as her mind sorted through her memories, she frowned.

He mumbled again, but she couldn't make out the words.

"Kaidan, I'm here. I'm alive." She murmured.

Then the light bulb flickered on and she remembered where she'd heard those words.

Jacob. Jacob had said those words. On the Cerberus station. He'd been surprised to see her up, said something about her being meat and tubes when he'd first seen her. Or maybe last seen her or something like that.

What the hell?

Kaidan had never seen her dead body. The only time they'd talked about it had been an idle discussion wondering if they should raid Cerberus to get her medical records and find out exactly what had been done to her. They'd let it go because no matter how good the intel would be, neither really wanted to deal with seeing her dead body. Not just yet, anyway.

He mumbled again, telling her she wasn't dead, wasn't a husk, wasn't meat and tubes.

"Kaidan, did you see my dead body?" She whispered, frowning down at him, confused.

"_Not_ dead!" The words were loud enough to make him wince in pain and she immediately backed down. "Not meat and tubes. Not husk. Alive."

He'd seen her dead body. Someone had shown him her lifeless corpse.

Shepard's eyes narrowed as rage coursed through her. No. Not someone.

John Scheplieu. He'd done it. He'd caused this.

"Alive!" Kaidan pleaded again.

"I'm right here, hon. I promise. I'm not dead, I'm not meat and tubes." The words crooned softly from her lips, but her expression held fury.

Maybe she couldn't fight his migraine for him, couldn't beat it into submission, but there was someone who had caused this particular nightmare and she could cheerfully pummel him until she felt better and as soon as Kaidan had settled into a healing sleep, that was exactly what she was going to do.

* * *

Wow. Her namesake was in command of all this?

Tayne twirled about in a circle, nearly stumbling into a crewman who unexpectedly stood up and had no idea that a cloaked figure was haunting the Normandy.

So many people, so much technology. And they all answered to Kaetayne Shepard. The Kaetayne Shepard. How did she keep track of it all? How did she know what needed to be done? How did she know which people she could trust and which ones answered to someone else?

Where would she keep prisoners?

Tayne had a limited time with her cloaking and the clock was running. She had to get to John and get him out.

A smirk touched young features. She'd told him Shepard had a plan. Maybe next time he'd consider the source and believe she knew what she was talking about.

It took several minutes for the elevator to activate and when it did, Tayne saw the woman she'd secretly been hoping she would.

Kaetayne Shepard stood in the elevator dressed in sweat pants and a worn t-shirt that said 'Property of Kaidan Alenko'. The dark blue colors of both brought out the pale pissed off blue of her eyes and Tayne knew without a doubt that where ever her namesake was headed, she was after John.

Heart thudding, Tayne rushed onto the elevator and stood in a corner, praying no one else would get on. She shouldn't have worried. The only crewman to try took one look at Shepard's face and quickly mumbled something about taking the maintenance shaft.

* * *

He'd finally fallen asleep. The deep, almost coma like sleep that would help him heal.

She'd known better than to sit and stew. More than anyone, Shepard was aware of her temper and, for the most part, she took pains to make certain it was under control. Control was very important in her career. If you didn't have control of the situation, if you were out of control angry, then the other guy had the edge and she refused to give any enemy an advantage over her. Call it a matter of pride. Of survival.

The more she held him, heard the pain she couldn't fight, the nightmares he shouldn't be having, the less control she had and the more rage.

She was barely in control and all of her focus was on finding John Scheplieu and letting that rage free.

"Shep…oh, shit." Jack stood and quickly moved her back to the nearest wall to protect herself, a blue corona manifesting about her clenched fists.

"Barrier down. Now." The low growl coming from her was barely recognizable and the order was obeyed immediately by the shaking hands of Crewman Hawthorne.

John Scheplieu narrowed his gaze at her. "Oh, big, bad, scary lady come to…"

She led with a right, her weight behind it in a blow that took him in the jaw and knocked him solidly back on his ass. His hair was too short to use as a hold so she went for the next best thing…his ears and used her left hand on sensitive cartilage to pull him to his feet and deliver a second blow.

This wasn't the cool and collected Shepard who had been at the top of her N7 class in hand to hand combat. This was the furious Shepard who had learned to fight dirty on the streets of an urban hell that demanded the winners be capable of walking away and the losers be left where their dead bodies could serve as a warning to others.

"You showed him my body?" She hissed, ignoring the cuts on her knuckles his teeth had made as she knocked aside his attempt to block and head butted him. "My _dead_ body!"

Dazed, he started to sink to the floor. Shepard helped him along, her hands on the back of his neck as she slammed his face against her rising knee.

"Dammit, Shepard, you'll kill him!" Someone yelled at her, but she was beyond caring.

"Do you know what you've done?" Shepard hissed and punched him again as he lay at her feet. "Do you have any…"

"ENOUGH!" Jack shouted using a biotic slam to pin Shepard against the wall. She followed up with her forearm against Shepard's throat using both to hold her there. "You'll kill him!"

"And keep a promise." Shepard hissed not bothering to struggle.

"No, Shepard! It's like the fish!" Jack persisted, a bead of sweat covering her upper lip that had nothing to do with the energy she was expanding. "He's the fish!"

Shepard glared at her. "Two things, Jack. First…I have no clue what the fuck that means. Second…I kill fish. Let me go or I'll take both of you on!"

"So it's all bullshit, then?" Jack demanded, her own expression showing rage. "All your preaching, all your actions, it's all bullshit? All do as I fucking say and not as I do? You keep fish to prove you can do more than kill! This proves killing is all you're good for!"

Shepard stared at her, emotion racing so quickly across her face there was no time to interpret. "Jack, today is not a good day for you to grow a conscience!"

Jack let her biotic hold die and pushed back from Shepard strong enough to leave a bruise on the skin above the other woman's collar bones. "You do this, Shepard, and every damn thing you've tried to tell me is worthless. This is what _I_ do, Shepard! I thought you were different!"

Shepard's stared at the younger woman, a war taking place in her soul. Every instinct in her said to attack, to hurt and prevent this enemy from ever coming near her and her loved one ever again. The leader in her, the one who looked at those under her command as hers as well, to be protected and to be helped, that Commander Shepard knew that this was a critical moment and that her decision would affect more than just herself.

Renegade or paragon? What was she going to be? What could she live with?

Closing her eyes, turning her head away, Shepard gave a single, sharp nod.

"Take him to medical. Get Chakwas to clean him up." She whispered, her voice full of frustrated anger.

"You better come…" Jack began, already crouching near the unconscious man.

"Don't fucking push me, Jack. I'm barely holding it now." The words were snarled, pale eyes open and showing the rage she felt.

"Commander…" Jack looked up at her, her expression oddly empathetic, as if she understood better than she wanted just what it had taken to pull back from that anger. "Maybe you'd better go be with Alenko. He keeps you steady."

Yeah, she was pretty sure right now Kaidan would want nothing to do with her. Hell, she didn't want anything to do with her.

"Aunt Kaet?" A soft whisper floated through the room.

"What the…" Jack's biotics burst into life as Shepard reached for a weapon that wasn't there and settled for a fighting stance, hands at the ready, both of them looking about the room for that voice.

"Here."

The slight figure shimmered into view near Scheplieu.

"Who the…what the…" Jack hesitated as if unsure she should be attacking or not, her gaze moving from the young face before her to the older one. Both identical. "Shit, I am so confused."

"Tayne?" Shepard said, stunned. Anger flickered, this time controlled and harsh. "EDI, care to explain to me how this intruder got past your security defenses on the Normandy?" The words were loud and demanding.

"My sensors must be malfunctioning, Commander Shepard. They detect no intruder." EDI responded, her holo platform lighting up.

Shepard raised a disbelieving brow. "Then explain that." She pointed to her niece. "The young female human next to Jack."

"According to my sensors, Commander, the young female human standing next to Jack is you."

Shepard's mouth moved, searching for words she couldn't find as her the bottom dropped out of her stomach.

"What the fuck?" Jack demanded. "How is that possible?"

"Genetically there is no difference between the young female human standing next to you, Jack, and Commander Shepard." EDI responded. "There is a marked difference in chronological ages, but my security sensors are not programmed to scan for such an anomaly."

A miserable expression was on the girl's face. "I'm sorry, Aun…Kaet. Commander Shepard. I…we thought Com…Kaidan Alenko told you."

"You know what? I've had enough." Shepard said in polite tones, her expression a forced courteous while her body language shouted that she was done listening to anything anyone had to say to her.

"Au…Kaet, we need…" Tayne began again.

"No." Shepard snapped. "You will not tell me. Kaidan Alenko will tell me. Take that bastard next to you to medical. Jack will escort you. Do not leave his side or I will have this ship turned upside down searching for you. Once…"

"There is no time! Mom…Mantha is trying to find the kids." Tayne's eyes brightened with tears. "You have to protect them. John promised he would and you messed that up so now it's on you!"

"What kids?" Shepard demanded in icy tones.

Tayne's expression curled in disgust. "You want Kaidan Alenko to tell you." She sneered.

"Kid, drop the attitude or it's going to get you looking like him." Jack advised motioning to the man near her.

She didn't want to know. She wanted to go back to her cabin, curl up next to Kaidan and pretend that John Scheplieu and Tayne had not entered her life.

Shepard lifted her chin, strangling the coward in her soul and stared at pale blue eyes so like her own.

"Give me the short version." Shepard ordered.

Tayne mirrored the gesture, nodding once. "Mantha is purging all of the other experiments in _**Project Spartan**_. This includes all subjects of _**Project Phoenix**_…the twins and the baby."

Shepard frowned, thinking it over.

Tayne nodded. "Yes. Mantha's other…children. Jane…the female twin, is our genetic twin, as is the baby, Judy. James, the male twin, is the genetic twin of the man you just beat to a pulp."

Shepard lifted a finger and rubbed the stress spot between her eyes. "Where are they?" Was the question she finally asked.

"In cryo sleep and hidden. John thought it best and easiest to move them that way. It's how we were going to get you off the Citadel, too." Tayne answered. "We were waiting for clearance on the fragile cargo permits and we would have been gone."

Shepard tilted her head and gave the younger girl a long study. "Can you fire a weapon?"

"They only kept the ones that showed equal or better skills than the original." Tayne responded, her voice oddly bereft of bitterness.

"Jack, fix him." Shepard pointed to John. "Tayne, with me. I have armor you'll fit into and weapons…"

"I have my own weapons and armor." Tayne cut her off, the tones flat. "Thank you."

"That reminds me." Shepard's gaze narrowed on the unconscious man and her kicking foot twitched badly enough that Tayne moved between them. "My Widow is currently out of condition until I have time to go over her. We'll need to stop by Weapons and get something inferior but acceptable."

She paused, mid-step toward the door and remembered a promise.

Scowling, she watched Jack unceremoniously shove Scheplieu's body onto an anti-grav gurney and then closed her eyes.

"Jack, I need another favor."

"If it involves taking the kid someplace else and leaving you alone with the meatbag, no." Jack said standing straight, a half smile on her lips.

Shepard rolled her eyes. "I won't touch your boyfriend, Jack. He's safe." She drawled and was rewarded with an obscene gesture. "I can't leave K…the Normandy right now. Will you go with Tayne and secure those kids? Bring them back here?"

Tayne's eyes widened slightly as she looked the other woman over. "Aun…Kaet, is that a good idea?" The words were soft, but audible to everyone.

Jack gave a harsh laugh. "Don't get your panties in a bunch, kid. Anything messes with me they're going to need a sponge to clean up what's left."

Tayne shook her head and began rubbing her finger on the soft skin between her eyes. Shepard caught the gesture and started so badly that both of them looked at her with a questioning glance.

"Are the kids secure right now, Tayne?" Shepard covered stepping out of the way as Jack began moving the unconscious Scheplieu.

"Yes." There was no doubt, no hesitation in the response.

"Then they can stay where they are for now or you can take Jack and bring them back here." Shepard answered, her pale eyes on Tayne.

"They need to be here." Tayne pointed at the floor of the ship, her voice sounding very young. "Where you can protect them!"

Shepard arched an eyebrow. "No argument, here, Tayne. I'm simply not going to be able to help you retrieve them until Kaidan wakes up."

"You'd choose him over us?" Tayne stared at her, bitterness covering her expression.

"I already have." Shepard pointed out.

"Look, I got no problem being errand girl." Jack interjected, the words an odd mix of harsh and sympathetic. Coming from anyone else, the words would have been compassionate.

"This is your responsibility." Tayne told Shepard, angry, ignoring Jack completely.

"No, this is a mess that I have no concept of the scope of." Shepard bit off the words. "If the children are safe where they currently are and you are so damned determined that I be the one to retrieve them, then you can damn well wait." Resentment flickered on the younger girl's face and Shepard narrowed her eyes, irritation plain. "I promised Commander Alenko that I would be there when he woke up. I will not break that promise."

"Okay. Fine." Tayne gave a slow nod. "Then let me take John."

"Out of the question." Shepard shook her head. "The only reason he's out of a stasis cell is because Jack wants his booboos taken care of."

"I'm pretty sure his nose and jaw are both broken." Jack pointed out.

"He'll get over it." Shepard snarled crossing her arms over her chest.

Tayne stepped closer, her eyes on level with Shepard's, her features younger, but the same, her hair in the same utilitarian style, all of it creating an effect of youth looking through a mirror to an older self.

"He has protected those children…protected me!...when you had no clue what was going on, Kaet." Tayne said, her chin raised in determination.

Shepard made a scoffing noise. "Tayne, I still have no clue what's going on."

"Because you're a coward and won't face it." Tayne snapped back.

Shepard's expression masked over, her eyes going hard and implacable. "Push it, Tayne. See what it gets you. See what it gets those kids and your precious John."

"You are such a bitch!" Tayne snarled at her. "Why I ever thought you were different than Mom is a mystery!"

"Mantha raised me long before she raised you." Shepard's flinty gaze darted about the younger face. "And it wasn't in a big house with a big back yard and all the food you could eat."

Tayne flinched slightly, backing down.

Shepard's lips thinned, her mouth closed as she inhaled through her nose. "Mantha's the big bad after you, isn't she?" The words were more statement than question and Tayne gave a single nod. "Dammit. I liked it so much better when I didn't have all this emotional crap in my life. There's a lot to be said for the ability to not give a damn because no one gives a damn for you."

"Does that include Commander Alenko?" Jack asked sweetly.

"Shut up." Shepard rubbed her stress spot between her eyes and gained a vicious satisfaction at seeing Tayne flinch at the familiar action. "Kaidan won't be up for a couple of hours. Once he is, I will decide what to do from there. Scheplieu will probably take just as long to have his injuries taken care of by Chakwas. Once he is up and about we will discuss having the children brought here."

"Thank you, Kaet." Tayne said quietly.

"That's so sweet. Chick bonding." Jack said with a gleam in her eyes. "Maybe next we can have a slumber party and paint our toenails. Discuss make-up tips."

Shepard moved behind the anti-grav gurney and gave it a vicious kick toward the elevator. Jack swore and raced to catch up before the injured man slammed into a wall.

Tayne frowned at her. "You really should be nicer to John."

"Honey, my moral compass is in my cabin suffering from a migraine because of that bastard. Until Kaidan wakes up, you'd be wise to make sure I don't get bored and decide to use Scheplieu as a live target to practice my knife throwing."


	5. Chapter 5

She was so beautiful.

Kaidan lay on his stomach, pillows shoved out of the way, his forehead resting on his left arm and his right stretched out, palm down. He'd been slowly waking for the last while and only cracked his eyes open when he heard the familiar shift of Shepard in the chair next to the bed she preferred to brood in when he was suffering one of his migraines.

Brooding she was, too. Her features frowning, her gaze unfocused as she stared at the far desk where her old N7 helmet rested. Her right hand she seemed to be absentmindedly flexing as if it hurt.

"Hey." He finally murmured.

Her gaze snapped instantly to him, the frown becoming concerned rather than disappearing as he'd hoped. "Hey back." She answered, her voice very soft out of caution for his migraine.

"What happened to your hand?" He asked, still not quite willing to move his body for fear of the pain it might cause.

She looked at her lacerated knuckles as if mildly surprised to find she had a hand. "Oh. Ran it into something hard. No big deal." Those pale eyes moved back to him. "How do you feel?"

A slow, sweet smile touched his lips as he turned his right hand over and held his fingers in a welcoming gesture. "Why don't you come here and tell me?"

Success. The worry on her face faded slightly and her lips curved in answer as she uncurled her body from the chair and she crawled across the bed toward him. Not touching him, she lay down, her eyes on level with him.

"That really didn't answer my question, but you get points for a yummy distraction." She slid her left hand into his palm entwining their fingers.

He used that connection to pull her closer, tucking her head under his chin as he shifted to his side, wrapping his arms about her until she was snug in a protective cocoon.

"Better. I'm better now." He finally answered. "Anything happen while I was down?"

Her body moved from a relaxed state to the stiffness of utter stillness. "Not really, no. Nothing I want to talk about."

A soft laugh moved his naked chest against her. "I believe that was two different answers, Kaet."

"You should eat." She said and began to wiggle, trying to get out of his embrace.

He didn't let her go. "Okay, that was an answer. What happened?"

"No." Her voice was flat with the implacable note he'd learned to be wary of. "We do not discuss things from out there in here. This is our space."

He sighed and made an agreeing motion with his head. "I'm not quite ready to get up, Kaet. I'm sorry."

She shifted until she could look at him. "For what? There is nothing going on right now that needs you to be up and mobile, Kaidan. Anything that needs our attention can damn well wait until I'm ready. We're ready." She corrected and abruptly didn't meet his gaze anymore.

Kaidan wanted to stay where he was. The pain of the migraine had mostly faded and now he was left with the hazy fog as his body tried to recover. He wanted nothing more than to simply hold Kaet in his arms until he felt like moving or absolutely had to get up and attend to needs like eating or going to the bathroom.

"Scheplieu still in…"

"And that is the top of the list of names that will not be mentioned while you are naked and I'm in bed with you." She scowled at him.

"He beat out Udina?" Kaidan teased lightly.

She gave a dramatic shudder. "That's enough to keep me celibate for years."

"I might have a bit more to say about that than Udina." Kaidan slid a hand under her shirt and stroked a thumb across the smooth flesh of her ribs.

She laughed and cupped a hand on his cheek. "Don't start something you are in no condition to finish, Alenko." She cut off his answer with a long kiss. "Plus, you need mouth wash in the worst way possible."

He pinched her but she laughed and slid out of the bed.

"I'm getting you some soup. Think you can manage it? Maybe some bread?" She headed toward her desk.

"Yeah." He shoved the blanket over him aside and snagged a nearby pair of jogging pants to tug on. After a brief protest from his head, he managed to join her as she ordered Chambers to send up the food. "We need to talk about who Scheplieu is."

Pale eyes met his. "Tayne's here, too." She said quietly. "The rest of Mantha's children are on the citadel. Hidden and in cryo sleep."

Kaidan closed his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck. "What do you know?"

She gave a small shrug. "I pretty much bailed on knowing anything after I found out Tayne wasn't my niece, she was me."

"She isn't you." Kaidan snapped the words and managed to surprise her. "Sorry. She isn't you, Kaet. She's genetically identical. Not you. She hasn't experienced what you have, hasn't grown up the way you did. She isn't you." He wrapped his arms about her waist and simply enjoyed holding her.

She looked up at him, frowning, confused. "Kaidan, I don't understand any of it and the whiny bitch part of me I named Steffie…short for STFU…just wants to duck the whole thing."

"Scheplieu will know more if it than I do. I'm a late comer to the information." Kaidan began rubbing soothing fingers over the small of her back but she moved her arms up, deliberately dislodging him and stepped away.

"I don't want that bastard telling me the time of day, Kaidan. I don't know who he is or why he has Adam's face and I don't care." She caught her elbows in the palm of the opposite hand, crossing her arms over her chest and faced him, her expression stubborn.

Kaidan gave her a careful study. "How do you know your male counterpart from _**Project Spartan**_?" The words were slow and thoughtful.

She tossed her hands wildly. "Kaidan, I don't know what the fu…frick _**Project Spartan**_ is." She began to pace the small area as the door chimed, warning them someone wanted entry.

"I'll get…" Kaidan began.

"Chambers isn't allowed to see how good you look half naked. No matter how hard she tries." Shepard said cutting him off and shoved him toward the bathroom.

Kaidan smiled shaking his head and decided he might as well use the facilities while he was there. By the time he was out, Shepard had placed the tray with his food on it on the small table in the sitting area of the cabin and was dressing in her armor.

"Where are you going?" He ignored his food and moved to her side.

"Nowhere. I just…" She scowled not looking at him. "You should eat."

"Kaet." He turned her head toward him, his palm gentle on her jaw.

"I feel…like I'm going to be attacked. Like I need to be…protected." She finally managed, a faint blush of shame coloring her cheeks. "So I'm getting ready." She jerked away and shoved her combat boots on.

He moved behind her, his arms going tight as he pulled her snug against him, ignoring the bite of the armor against his naked chest. For a long moment he simply held her, knowing her well enough by now that in instances like this, when she was feeling vulnerable, feeling helpless, as rare as they were, actions spoke so much louder to her than actual words.

Gradually, breath by breath, she relaxed and leaned against him, accepting the comfort, the strength he offered.

"I love you." She said quietly. "I'm sorry I'm such a coward about this. I know you didn't sign on for that." The last words were broken and nearly inaudible.

A soft laugh shook his chest and he could feel her stiffen in anger.

"You're laughing at me." The words were hissed as she tried to shove his arms away from her body and escape from him.

"Kaet, there are at least three species in the galaxy and untold thousands of members of many more that wish you were a coward." He said ignoring the shaky feel in his muscles as he continued to hold her close and laugh. "Seriously…we could ask them to take a poll on the Citadel. You know that place you saved? Maybe they have an opinion about you being a coward."

"You are never having sex with me again." She flared at him. "Let me go! I will knock you on your ass the way I did Scheplieu!"

He grabbed her right hand and gave the scrapped and scabbed knuckles a careful study. "So that's who you hit. More than once, too, judging by the damage you did to yourself."

"I'll use my left fist on you!" She snarled and then froze as a blue corona settled about her. "Kaidan Alenko, you drop your biotics this instant! Are you trying to have another migraine?"

Hiding a smile, her reaction exactly what he had been expecting, Kaidan let his biotic hold go and pressed a kiss to the abused knuckles of her hand. "Come sit with me as I eat. I'll tell you about _**Project Spartan**_ and how it relates to Cerberus' current _**Project Phoenix**_."

"I'm mad at you! You can't decide the argument is over when I'm still mad!" She snapped and tossed her head as she glared at him.

Kaidan smiled, loving how beautiful she looked, wishing she weren't in her armor. When she was in casual clothes and her usual braless state in their cabin and she did that little angry toss of her head, she tended to bounce. He sometimes riled her just to see that.

Unfortunately they had other matters to work out before he could challenge her 'no sex' declaration.

"_**Project Spartan**_ began several years before you were born. It started as an Alliance project to create a super soldier. Six classes were determined to be the focus of the experiment and a male and female were chosen for each class. Soldier, Sentinel, Vanguard, Adept, Engineer and Infiltrator." He moved to the couch and settled his body down, the smell of the chicken soup suddenly making him ravenous. He was pretty sure he could see chunks of real chicken in the depths of the bowl as well. Say what you would about Cerberus, Shepard had learned a valuable lesson from them about making sure her crew was fed well.

Shepard twitched for a moment and then he could literally see her stiffen her spine with determination, as if she had come to some sort of decision. Without a word, she began to strip off her armor and replace it back in its slots.

He ate, enjoying watching her and enjoying even more when she sat next to him, clad in her thin tee and jogging pants.

"I was the Infiltrator of the experiment. It's why I have no parents." She finally said.

Kaidan took a swallow of the energy drink Chakwas had designed specifically for him on the first Normandy for his migraines. "That was part of the experiment. Backgrounds were specifically tailored to see the influence they would have on the subjects. There were three general backgrounds, one was no family influence, leaving you to be raised in foster homes or on the streets. The second was a loyalty to the Alliance so those subjects were placed in homes with both parents having military background. The third was a neutral upbringing. They were placed on frontier colonies with parents having little or no opinion of the Alliance."

"Scheplieu…he's one of the male subjects. So was Adam." Shepard pulled her knees up under her chin and rested her head there.

"Tell me about Adam." Kaidan said and earned a scornful laugh that wasn't necessarily directed at him.

"You know more about him than I do." She pointed out, bitter.

"I know a name. You knew the man. From the way you speak of him, remember him, it's with fondness. He made an impression on you." Kaidan lifted the bowl digging in as his body began demanding more calories. He spilled slightly down his chin and wiped at the drips with his forearm until Shepard rolled her eyes and got up to get a towel.

"I was a kid…not sure how old, but it was before Mantha found me. The memories get hazy and it's not liked anyone marked birthdays for me." Shepard said as she headed toward the bathroom and dampened a towel. "I was sick. Sick was a death sentence on the streets. Unless you went to the med-clinics, but med-clinics meant police and social workers and a new home with…" She cut off the words, wiping at his chin before he snagged the towel from her with an exasperated look and wiped up the dripped soup himself. She settled back into her original seat and position. "Adam found me…not sure how…"

"Sub-dermal tracker. All of the subjects…children…had them." Kaidan answered. "The question is why he would bother. Adam was the early on favorite of the experiment. He shined during all tests, all behavioral assessments, he was the star. It's unclear why, but he was brought in off the streets and actually allowed to live in the same facilities that the project heads were. He ate with them, listened to them and I believe that when they were asleep, snooped through their files."

Shepard gave a one shoulder shrug. "I thought he was there to kill me. Or worse. He fed me, instead, patched me up. Stayed with me while I was sick. He was…I didn't remember anyone taking care of me before him. I kept waiting for him to tell me what he wanted from me. What the price for his help would be. Instead he started teaching me how to cloak, how to scope enemies. How to be silent. Then he disappeared. Was gone just like that."

Kaidan set the bowl down. "Kaet, they murdered him." The words were soft. "He had tainted the experiment…the subjects weren't to be allowed contact with one another. By his rebellion, his defiance, he became a failure in their eyes. They terminated him and activated another subject for the male Infiltrator portion of the program."

Her eyes closed, her expression full of grief and rage, but she said nothing for a long moment. Kaidan reached out a hand and caught hers, squeezing once, letting her know he was near.

"With Adam out of the program, they settled their sights on their new favorite…a female. She showed all the promise Adam had and none of the compassion. She'd already shown no hesitation in killing. Had taken over the gang she was involved with and was not only expanding the people under her control, she was expanding territory." Kaidan continued.

"Mantha." The name was a whispered curse.

"Samantha Rivers was the female Soldier of the First Generation crèche." Kaidan agreed, taking up his bowl again to eat. "By the time you were twelve, Kaet, they had decided that Mantha was a success and that she would be the focus of their experimentation. The other children…your brothers and sisters…were allowed to continue to live so long as they showed a definite promise in a military capacity. Those who showed no interest in the military or a soldier lifestyle, were terminated. That eliminated all of the remaining females and two of the males. Killed simply because they chose a path outside the parameters of the experiment."

"If contact with the other children was grounds for termination, why was I allowed to be with Mantha?" Shepard asked, her expression completely blank, as if she were talking about the weather or something equally mundane.

Kaidan set the bowl aside, his dark eyes warm as he gazed at this woman who meant so much to him. "Kaet, you were terminated. Designated a failed experiment. They sent a cleanup crew who designed your murder to look like just another misfortunate who was on the wrong person's territory, beaten for it and dumped in a garbage can. You were medically declared dead at the age of twelve."

She blinked, surprised, frowning. "But…I remember…" She rubbed her forehead. "Mantha. She found me, healed me."

"Adam was dead by this time." Kaidan nodded, understanding her confusion. "But it's my belief…and something John Scheplieu can probably confirm…that before he was killed Adam warned some of the other members of _**Project Spartan**_. John was one…and I believe Mantha was another. She learned of your termination and for reasons of her own found you. Alive."

"Well, you're always telling me how stubborn I am." She quipped trying to make the matter light hearted, completely unaware of the confused devastation he could see on her pale features. "Why wasn't Mantha terminated? She was tainting the experiment by having me around."

"No one knew you were around. If any of those watching Mantha saw you, which I'm betting with all your Infiltrator skills was very rare, all they saw was another member of her gang." Kaidan murmured. "When they left you for dead, they took anything that could lead your body back to them. Including the tracker. When Mantha found you, took you in, they were unaware that you were still alive. Mantha took pains to make sure it stayed that way."

"Why?" The word exploded from Shepard. "Why would Mantha do that? Why save me then, but try and kill her kids now? I don't understand, Kaidan! I don't…" She moved to her feet and began pacing the small area of their cabin.

"I would love to tell you that Mantha is an evil bitch from Hell who deserves nothing but your contempt, Kaet." A half smiled kicked up one corner of his mouth. "But for whatever her reasons are, you are here, in front of me, alive and well because of a choice she made. She helped you survive when the odds were very much stacked against you."

"They had to know I was alive at some point. That Mantha had tainted the experiment." She tossed her hands wildly, her pacing frenetic.

"You came to their attention when you murdered a boy who tried to rape you." Kaidan said quietly. "Mantha tried to hide you…she took the blame…but their own investigation turned up the truth and turned up you."

Shepard stilled. Her eyes closing, her fingers pressing on her eyes as if holding something back.

Kaidan surged from the couch and wrapped his arms about her. She tried to shove him off, not liking to be touched during periods of emotional upheaval, but he'd learned in the past not to let go when her instincts said to shut everything and everyone out.

"I don't want to know anymore! I don't want to know!" She hissed at him, hot tears splashing against his chest.

"I'm sorry, Kaet." He whispered against her hair. "Very sorry."

He held her until the silent tears slowed and she began to ineffectually wipe at them with the bottom of her tee.

"Apparently I was allowed to live." She finally managed to mumble and then gave a snort of anger. "Allowed. I would like to hunt down every single one of those bastards and show them what I think of their playing around in my life!"

Kaidan lifted her chin, smiling at the determination he found in her face and led her back to the couch. "You'd be years too late. Between Mantha and John Scheplieu, all of the original scientists have been killed. Apparently they had similar feelings about having their entire lives lived at someone else's whim."

Shepard nodded and settled against him as if needing his quiet strength. Something that thrilled him as much as awed him.

"Mantha was pregnant at the trial…with Tayne. My genetic twin. So the experiment was continuing." She wiped at her eyes.

"The experiment had never stopped. Mantha was deemed the success. A female soldier with leadership skills, high pain tolerance…even more so than her male counterpart…and adaptability. Everything they wanted, she was." Kaidan continued. "They had also instilled in her a desirable outlook…humanity first."

"Friggin' Cerberus." Shepard spat.

"At the time, they were still a part of the Alliance, but, yes, the ideals were very much there." Kaidan stroked her hair out of her eyes. "Mantha's decision to save you, to raise you, set them back. They were no longer sure if she was a success or not and by this time, they had decided there were some other tweaks they wanted to add to _**Project Spartan's**_ control group, so they decided to call her a learning experience and continue with a new crèche. Rather than terminate her…and you…one of the projects overseers decided Mantha would have a new use and she was impregnated with one of the new crèche."

Shepard muttered a foul word. "Why was I allowed to go free?"

"To be honest? They didn't think you mattered, Kaet. They had already written you off as dead, once. You were of no value to anyone but Mantha. She arranged for you to enter the Alliance Military. It's my belief she knew that they would leave you alone if you were to have a military career." Kaidan gave a half shrug. "I don't think you interested them until you started shining as a young military soldier. Until places like Akuze, where you were one of only two who lived. All of the sudden, in their eyes, maybe the First Generation crèche hadn't been a total loss after all. Once they started looking, you became everything they hoped for in the soldier they were trying to create. An impressive military career. You were breaking sniper records right and left. They would send you against a seemingly impossible target, give you orders and you would prevail. You were a natural leader to others in your squad and had an unquestioning loyalty to them. All of the traits they wanted were there. Their failed experiment was now their pride and joy."

"So happy to oblige." Shepard muttered, her expression dark.

He chuckled and pulled her tight against him. "You were nearly perfect in their eyes, Kaet. You simply had a few undesirable characteristics they were hoping to clear you of and you'd be everything they ever wanted in _**Project Spartan**_."

She tilted her head, frowning at him, a question in her pale eyes.

"You are stubborn as hell." Kaidan tapped her nose. "Convinced that they only good judgment is your own. You have difficulty playing well with others unless you are the one in charge…bossy is the term I think I'm looking for. You have the foulest mouth in the military and beyond."

"Are these the traits you find undesirable or those bastards who sliced and diced my DNA?" Shepard demanded and he laughed.

"I desire everything about you, Kaet. I always will." The smoky tone in his voice was a testament to how well Chakwas' energy drink and some food were helping him on the road to recovery.

She kissed him, the press of her lips, the stroke of her tongue against his, all holding a wealth of emotion that he returned with pleasure.

Reluctantly, she pulled back showing him that she knew that no matter how willing his spirit might be, a migraine knocked his body for a loop and put some distance between them, but her fingers were still entwined with his.

"You have what they consider an unhealthy respect for aliens. You even call some of them your friends." Kaidan finally continued. "You have, at times, put the needs of an alien species above those of your own, namely humanity. Saving the Council was a bitter disappointment to them although they managed to put a good spin on it…you did increase human influence after all. Gained us a seat among them."

"Oh, geez. Mantha." Shepard closed her eyes, standing again. Her fingers ran back through her hair. "Ah, crap. No wonder. Shit."

Kaidan frowned, not sure where he had lost the thread of the conversation. "Kaet?"

Her pale eyes focused on him. "I became the success. I became the…the winner. In her eyes." She rubbed her forehead. "She'd been told her whole life she was the perfect one. The success. Only one day she opens her eyes and realizes that everything she was supposed to do, I'd done and what had she been doing? Playing broodmare for my genetic twins. Not hers. _Mine_. Damn. No wonder she snapped."

A grimace on his face, Kaidan slowly began to nod. "I didn't think of that. It makes her…too human, I guess. I would rather think of her as the evil bitch who tried her best to turn you against me." He opened his mouth, intending to tell her the rest but she continued.

"Kaidan, we need to get those kids here. Get them safe." She had finished pacing, her decision made and her thoughts now directed toward a goal.

"Scheplieu knows where they're hidden." Kaidan stood and began testing his body, how recovered he was.

Irritation danced across her face. "I do not owe him apology." She snapped, eyes narrow.

"After what he did to your Widow? He's lucky he's alive." Kaidan chuckled and found himself on the receiving end of her assessing gaze as he stood and moved about. "I'm fit, Kaet. I will help finish this."

"Good enough. Take a shower, it will help. I'm going to have Chambers bring me some soup, too." A wicked smiled flirted across her lips. "It tasted very good."

The kiss, Kaidan comprehend, his body tightening. She'd tasted the chicken soup he'd eaten during their kiss. "You should join me. In the shower. Make sure I don't fall or something."

She hesitated, studying him, uncertain he was recovered enough from the migraine to play around.

Blue flashed over his eyes and she was pulled across the room and into his arms.

"Kaidan!" Concerned annoyance colored her tones.

"I'm fine." He informed her again and set about proving it.


	6. Chapter 6

"I want a rematch." Scheplieu mumbled through a sore jaw.

Jack gave a snort and sat cross legged on the bed next to his. "You might want to heal first. Chakwas says you should be good as new in a little while."

"She sucker punched me." He shifted his jaw, mouth open, cursing at the pain.

A bark of laughter escaped the convict. "One look at Shepard had the rest of us ducking and you decided to mouth off at her. She punched a sucker alright. Broke his jaw, too."

"Why are you here? And not in a nurse's uniform?" Scheplieu's pale eyes slanted toward her as he struggled to sit up.

"I'm watching the kid. And you. And you wish on the nurse's uniform." Jack pointed to the bed on the far side of him where a slender figure was curled up asleep.

"Tayne…what the hell did that bitch do to her?" Scheplieu was off the bed in an instant and at the teenager's side.

"Pissed her off, mostly. It's a weird, psychedelic vibe watching those two snarl at each other." Jack shook her head, her hands moving in wide gestures. "I mean, you have young Shepard and old Shepard. It's fucking age and experience versus youth and beauty in all its irony. If they were to go at it, though, my money's on old Shep."

Scheplieu slanted an almost creepy smile at the woman at his back before turning back to check Tayne's sleeping vitals. "And if old Shep and I were to go at it?"

"Depends." Large, almost luminous eyes snared him in their gaze. "You going to stand there and pretend she's some girly-girl instead of a veteran soldier who's taken out things bigger and badder than you will ever be?"

"What is it with you women and size?" He asked almost absentmindedly, finally convinced that Tayne was okay, just sleeping. Poor kid had to be exhausted.

He turned in time to catch a frankly interested and assessing study from the tattooed woman and smiled as she lifted her chin, almost defying him to say something about her appraisal.

"Funny you'd ask that since Shep took you down with a single punch." Jack sneered back, her fingers twitching about those of the opposite hand, as if she couldn't sit still when others were around.

Smiling, Scheplieu rubbed his jaw again. "It was a good punch." He finally admitted.

Jack gave a loud laugh again. "Not good enough if you remember it. I'll tell Shepard to work on that."

"Where is she?" Scheplieu glanced around the room noting there was no guard presence. With that in mind, he reassessed the woman still sitting cross legged on the bed. If they thought she was all they needed to keep him in line then she must have skills he was unaware of.

"With Alenko. They have this creepy lovey-dovey thing going on." The comment was said with her usual brash sneer, but her expression held a brief flash of wistfulness that was gone so quickly he wondered if he'd seen it at all. "Baby Shep was worried about some kids. Wanted them brought here."

Scheplieu frowned. "They need to get off the Citadel. I need to speak with Shepard. Tayne explained things?"

"You mean while you were bleeding on the floor and moaning like a little girl?" Jack smirked. "Naw. Shepard wasn't in the mood to hear it. Couldn't blame her, really. She just got bitch slapped with the knowledge that Baby Shep is her genetic twin. That there were more."

"Damn Alenko." Scheplieu muttered running a hand over his stubble. "Shepard needs to know what's going on. I need her out of the way and protected until Mantha is taken care of."

"We are talking about Commander Shepard, right?" Jack asked with scoffing sarcasm. "You want to protect the woman that half of this Universe shits themselves at the thought of for fear she'll come after them? You want to protect _that_ Commander Shepard?"

Scheplieu smiled, the gesture seeming almost forced, as if he wasn't accustomed to any kind of smiling and needed more lessons on perfecting the act without making it creepy. "I made a promise I would protect her. I intend to keep that promise whether she likes it or not."

"Damn, you're as stubborn as she is." Jack shook her head, the words almost in admiration. Her expression said she thought he was an idiot. "You dismembered her Widow. You kidnapped her Kaidan Alenko as a suicidal way of getting her attention. The Normandy's betting pool isn't sure which one she's going to kill you for, but odds are slightly favoring Kaidan Alenko as the reason you get spaced. Me? I put creds down on her losing her temper again and mounting your head on the prow of the Normandy. While you're still alive."

He dropped the smile and tilted his head, considering her. "You have a disturbing imagination, Jack."

"It's a work in progress." Jack gave a shrug. "I've seen a lot of sick things. Some stay with you."

His pale eyes unfocused slightly and then narrowed. "You saw someone's head mounted on the prow of a ship?" He questioned, stunned.

She gave a half shrug. "No big deal. The fucker had it coming. You don't mess with the daughter of a man who leads a group of pirates. Especially if she's not old enough to wear a bra."

"What's the most disturbing thing you've seen with Shepard?" Scheplieu rubbed his jaw again and sat back down on his bed.

An expression of pure disgust snarled the young woman's lips. "Alenko thinks the elevators are good places to suck on Shepard's tonsils. Yeah, like he's going to get in and out of her pants in two minutes no matter how hard he tries."

Scheplieu's expression mirrored the convict's. "You're kidding. Alenko's such a boy scout I would have thought hand holding was as far as he'd gotten after all this time."

"Not with the way Shepard obsesses over his butt." Jack shook her head. "Besides…ship scuttlebutt says that Shep once had Alenko naked next to a Krogan so she could compare the two. Alenko won."

"Now that visual would be the most disturbing thing I've ever seen." Scheplieu's face held a mix of revulsion and fascination. He quickly shook himself and focused on her again. "I didn't thank you, did I?"

Confusion twisted the convict's beautiful features. "For what?"

"It's a bit hazy but I do remember you stepping between Shepard and me. When she was handing my ass to me." Scheplieu's pale eyes took note of the faint stain of pink that covered the woman's cheeks. "That was a brave thing to do."

Jack shook her head. "No. No way was Shepard going to hurt me." The words were said with absolute conviction. "She'd try and bluff her way out of it, convince me that she's all tough and as badass as I am, but it's a show. I'm part of her team. Not a Hell she wouldn't go through for one of us if we needed her to."

He considered that and gave a slow nod. "I can see that…but she was furious, Jack. She was out of control and in a killing rage. You talked her down. That takes quite a bit of bravery. To stop someone you admire and care about when you know what they're doing is wrong."

The flush on her cheeks deepened and Jack sneered, challenging her reaction as much as him. "Bullshit. Shepard stopped because she's decent."

"So are you, Jack. Thank you for stopping her."

Agitated Jack leaped to her feet. "What is this all about? You looking for a quick fuck before Shepard comes down here and finishes what she started? Trying to butter me up for it? Shit, you pansy. Next you'll be reading me poetry and bringing me flowers."

"Do you like flowers?" Scheplieu asked, his body still but his expression suddenly very involved.

"Not interested." Jack snarled at him. "Guys like you? They don't go for girls with tats and attitudes like mine and I'm long past spreading myself for any dick that swings by."

"Guys like me?" Scheplieu repeated, his broad features creased with confusion. "Would that be tall? Maybe blue eyed? Got it…it's the military cut hair, right? Too much like yours. I could grow mine out. Maybe braid it with a pink ribbon to show how in touch with my feminine side I am. We could even watch a chick flick together. I'll be the one sobbing into my hanky."

Jack tried to snarl at him and ended up smiling which seemed to piss her off more.

Scheplieu's smile was softer this time, less creepy. "I owe you, Jack." He said, the words soft.

"For what?" She demanded, belligerent.

"You've been the one thing in this whole mess that hasn't made me feel like a total fuck up." Scheplieu's gave her a slow nod of respect and gratitude.

Mixed emotions struggled for dominance on Jack's face. Her large eyes stared at him, studying him as if searching for the answer to a question she didn't know. "I…" She began only to cut off as the door behind her slid open.

Scheplieu scowled at the two figures entering the med-clinic. "You have crappy timing, LS." He said and had the pleasure of watching her steps jerk.

"You want to be knocked on your ass again?" Shepard snapped back. "What's with the 'LS'?"

Scheplieu tilted his head, his body still relaxed as she came closer. "It's what Adam called you. Little Sister. Because you were two years younger than the rest of the First Gen crèche."

Shepard said nothing, her fists clenching as Kaidan Alenko placed a hand at the small of her back, steadying her.

"It's what Mantha calls her." The latter said quietly. "How well did you know Adam?"

Scheplieu's eyes never left Shepard. "He saved my life. Saved all of our lives. In the last days of _**Project Spartan**_ there was a lot of fighting among the backers and scientists. All those brains and money and nobody could come to a consensus on what the perfect soldier was to create an army from. Idiots didn't realize what was staring them in the face. One man or woman can be an army, but an army is more than just one man or woman."

"Strength in diversity." Shepard responded, her chin up, pale eyes sharp and brilliant as she gave a single nod.

"The Alliance still hasn't figured that one out." Kaidan said with a soft smile. "Shepard beat Saren with more than just humans at her side. She did the same with the Collectors."

"Yeah, well, no surprises that Timmy had her recruit mostly aliens for that particular suicide mission." Scheplieu snorted in derision. "Wouldn't want to waste any valuable human lives."

"Hey." Jack broke in, her tones offended.

Scheplieu gave her a smile and a wink. "Love the tats." He said as conciliation.

"They want an army of humans, I have no problem with it." Shepard said bringing the subject back on track. "But an army of Infiltrators? Stupid. Half of my Geth kills going after Saren were the ones Kaidan or Wrex immobilized and tossed into the air with biotics. The suicide mission? Yeah, each member I recruited had a different skill set I needed in different areas. If I had only taken Garrus and Thane on that derelict Reaper I'd have had my ass handed to me by all the husks we ran into and we all would have died. A lot."

"Maybe we should put you in charge of the Alliance." Scheplieu said with a disingenuous curve of his lips.

"I have enough on my plate right now. And I've lost my taste for political bullshit." Shepard retorted.

"But not your willingness to use your right fist." Scheplieu adjusted his jaw with a hand, wincing slightly at the pain. "Adam saw what was happening. He was living there, among them. He heard their arguments, saw the tests they ran on us. Knew that _**Project Spartan**_ would soon be dead or revamped because they couldn't understand what they had created. Couldn't understand that all of us…Infiltrator, Soldier, Adept, Sentinel, Vanguard, Engineer…all of us had skills that would make an army stronger, not weaker. That we all had strengths and weaknesses but at the end of the day, we could get the job done. He also knew they would never understand that. Everyone had their favorites, the one they pushed to be the success. The One that would win and no other was tolerated…to the point of sabotage or murder of the inferior subjects. Only they did it by getting a majority consensus on whether or not a subject had failed and needed to be terminated and one by one, they killed the others. Our brothers and sisters, Little Sister. Dead because they didn't meant a criteria that fluctuated from day to day."

"Cry me a river. I was a termination." Shepard flung back.

Scheplieu nodded, his gaze briefly flickering to Kaidan. "You were. You were also the one Adam picked as the success. The runt of the litter. The replacement female Infiltrator, pulled off the bench and put into the game because the original was accidentally killed in a hover car crash when she was a toddler. That's why you were two years younger than us…the rest of the First Gen crèche."

Shepard's hand snapped up, palm out, halting him. "So I'm the _copy_ of a genetically engineered human?"

Scheplieu tilted his head at her. "Not a copy. You were engineered the same time the rest of us were. You simply weren't thawed out until they needed you. Besides how do you think you survived the Prothean Beacons you interfaced with, Shepard? Your sparkling personality? Your brain has been modified, adapted and adjusted for faster thinking, faster assessment and faster action. Just like mine has."

Shepard's hand twitched and Jack moved closer, almost between the two.

"It doesn't matter." Kaidan said, his voice low and firm but Shepard wouldn't look at him. "Shepard…Kaet…you are human. You are…"

"A bio-engineered freak." She spat and shoved away his hands. "Don't touch me." She hissed.

"Why the fuck does it matter?" Jack asked, her face confused. "Shepard, the only natural human in this room is Alenko and even that's questionable."

"Oh, thanks, Jack." Shepard tossed her head, her expression pale and furious. "I feel so much better now." She paced to the far edge of the clinic and then back and then once more across the room. "Did they bring me back?" She finally rasped, her tone fierce and demanding. "Did Cerberus bring me back? Or did they just make another copy to replace the broken one?"

"What makes you Shepard, Little Sister?" Scheplieu asked, his voice oddly compassionate. "The body you were engineered for or the memories that you lived?"

"I don't know!" She flung at him.

"Kaet…" Kaidan moved closer to her but she moved away.

"Don't touch me. You don't even know who I am. The woman you loved could be hanging from someone's wall as a trophy right now and you wouldn't know!" Shepard snapped at him.

"I don't care, Kaet." Kaidan persisted, his expression determined.

"Of course not! If I die again, they can just unfreeze another one! Shit, Kaidan, you want a younger version? She's sleeping over there!" Shepard flung a hand toward Tayne.

Anger sparked a blue flare over his eyes. "She isn't you, Kaet."

"She even has my name!" Shepard snapped back.

"Mantha had no choice in the name." Scheplieu murmured. "If she had objected it might have made them think twice about leaving you alive even though you had chosen to join the Alliance. All female Infiltrators were named Kaetayne. Including your predecessor."

She simply stared at him, trying to absorb that information.

"Everything I've done…accomplished…was any of it really me?" Shepard finally asked, her eyes darting from face to face searching for an answer that none of them had. "I need to…process this. I need to…" She headed for the door.

"Kaet…" Kaidan began, reaching out for her.

"No." She cut him off, hands out, denying him a third time as she skirted past him. "You don't know who I am, Kaidan."

"Commander Kaet Shepard!" He shouted her name as the door slid open and she paused, hesitating, half turned toward him. "I know who you are." The words were firm and held no hesitation, no confusion, his face holding the steady, uncompromising love he'd never hesitated in giving her since they had managed to find each other again. "And when you finally accept that, I will still be here to help you figure out the rest of it."

Tears brightened her eyes and she turned away before anyone could see if they fell and was gone.

"I think I've handled this badly." Scheplieu said with a frown, his gaze on the door as it slid closed.

Kaidan stared at him, mouth open, but no words coming.

Jack rolled her eyes and gave a disgusted sound. "Shut up, Scheplieu, before _I_ start hitting you 'cause I can guarantee Alenko won't make me stop."

"Where's Tayne?" Kaidan said abruptly, his gaze on the now empty bed.

A long string of foul language spat from Scheplieu's mouth proving for once and all that he and Shepard were indeed related.

"I swear I am going to find collars for both of them and any time they get more than three feet from me they're going to get a nasty shock until they learn." Scheplieu vowed.

"Worry about Tayne." Kaidan advised him. "Mantha will be after her. Shepard…she can take care of herself. She…she likes it that way." The last was muttered and he left as abruptly as Shepard had.

* * *

Was she real?

Shepard ignored the looks, the questions, the concern as she stalked out of the elevator, heading for the airlock. She couldn't stay here on the Normandy. There was no place to think. No place to understand. If she stayed they might find out just by looking at her that she was a lie.

Who was she?

Not even her name was her own, it was someone else's. Her face…someone else's. Her DNA, her blood, her eyes…all of her identifying trademarks…someone else had them before she did. Nothing original. Nothing hers. Nothing…she was nothing. The constructed identity of a group of people who had been playing a game.

Was even her love for Kaidan real?

She wanted to scream, wanted someone to slice her skin to see if she would bleed, wanted to return to the man who'd looked at her with such patience, such love only to have her kick it all back in his face.

"Hello, Little Sister." A soft voice called from a shadowed alcove as Shepard walked blindly by.

"Mantha." Shepard's voice broke on the name as she turned toward the woman.

Gone was the Mohawk, the belly round with pregnancy. An older version of Tayne now stood before Shepard, one with hair starting to show hints of silver and lines about her eyes.

"They told you." Mantha said, her eyes compassionate as she held out a hand. "I was too late. I couldn't stop them."

Shepard looked at that hand and gravitated toward those welcoming fingers. Her earliest memories…hers, not hers?...were of that hand welcoming, helping, healing, steadying, punishing. That hand had protected her.

"You never told me." Shepard whispered. "That I wasn't real."

"Wrong." Mantha snapped, pale eyes with anger. "Is that what they told you? They lied, Little Sister. They _lied_."

"Is Tayne a lie then?" Shepard demanded, her voice trying to rise in volume but old habits learned a lifetime ago at this woman's knees kicked quickly into place. "What about your other children? Are they lies?"

Mantha moved quickly forward, wrapping her arms about Shepard, pulling her head to her breast and stroking her hair. "No. They aren't lies, but they aren't you, Kaet."

Shepard closed her eyes and sank against her big sister. "Mantha, I am so confused. I don't understand. I've lost myself and I don't know where to go to find me."

"Then come with me. I will remind you." Mantha murmured.

Licking her lips, Shepard gave a single nod.

Smiling, Mantha kept an arm wrapped around her and led her from the crowd.

* * *

Tayne watched the two walk away, her expression full of indecision. This had been what they had tried to prevent, she and John. Mantha finding Shepard before they could hide her, before they could help her understand who she was and everything that it meant.

Her communicator pinged.

"I hope that's you, John." Tayne said upon answering.

"Where are you?" The tenor voice demanded.

"Watching Mantha escort a willing Kaet through the Citadel. We've lost her, John." Tayne rubbed her forehead. "We need to get the children and cut our losses. Get out."

"Wrong." John answered. "Return to the Normandy, Tayne. You're going to get the children and you're going to follow our original plan. That paperwork should have cleared by now and if it hasn't…well, I'm standing next to a Spectre who can expedite it for us."

"What about Kaet?"

"You let me worry about Kaet." John snapped back. "I want you and those kids in the ether, got me? I will rendezvous with you after this matter has been taken care of."

Tayne closed her eyes and stroked the stress spot between them before making a quick decision. If the positions had been reversed, there was no way Shepard would have allowed Tayne to be hurt. "Unacceptable, John. I'm not going to stand by and let Mantha try to kill Kaet the way she tried to kill me and the children. I'll continue surveillance."

"Tayne, this is Commander Kaidan Alenko." The smoky voice held an urgent note. "Where are you? Can you keep following them?"

Tayne smiled at she heard a vicious argument over the com channel. Kaidan trusted her to follow and do well. John wanted her safe and said he could follow without risking a child.

She shut down the communication link with John and established one on the communication band Kaidan had given her shortly before he and Kaet ended their vacation at her moth…Mantha's house.

"Don't engage, you won't need to." Kaidan said after she identified herself. "If your skills are anywhere near your aunt's, you won't have a problem. Keep an eye on them. Can you send me your location? I have Shepard's Widow and will join you."

"Sending now. It will update every ninety seconds." Tayne tapped her omni-tool. "Bring Kaet's Hand Cannon, too. She doesn't have any weapons on her right now."

"She didn't have any weapons on her when she had her little chat with Scheplieu that left him in the med-bay, either, Tayne." Kaidan murmured with a soft laugh. "She'll be fine and between the two of us, we'll get her out of there safely. I promise."

"I will hold you to that promise, Kaidan." Tayne said before sliding into a crowd, moving easily through them, her attention on the two women ahead of her.


	7. Chapter 7

"Here." Mantha handed Kaet a steaming cup of chocolate. "Can you believe I still remember how you like it?"

Shepard blinked at the delicate tea cup. She was pretty sure it was china. Like real China china. A Ming or a Dynasty or a Tiffany or something. Something that fit in with the luxurious apartment surrounding her, making her feel more out of place than she already was. She was fairly certain the plush couch she was sitting on was covered in real leather. Good thing Joker wasn't here, he'd want it for himself.

"I'm sure Tayne likes it the same way."

"Tayne likes marshmallows." Mantha gave an exaggerated shudder that Shepard unconsciously mimicked with real disgust. "Even the name sounds disgusting, doesn't it? Marsh mallow. What the hell is a mallow, anyway? Does it really come from a marsh?"

Shepard closed her eyes. She wanted Kaidan.

"What did they tell you, Kaet?" Mantha gave up humor and settled in a chair across from Shepard.

"Basically that you're a murdering bitch." Shepard answered with a wan smile.

Mantha snorted. "Hah. You didn't need them to tell you that. You've seen me in action."

"Why did you take the rap for me? When I killed…" Shepard paused, suddenly shocked, her eyes darting back and forth, seeing nothing as she searched her memories. "His name. I've forgotten his name. Mantha, I don't remember his name. I loved him. I killed him. I don't…"

"Chill, Kaet." Mantha ordered. "And why would you remember the little bastard's name? You did the gene pool a favor when you washed him from it before he could breed." She sniffed and took a long drink of a green colored wine.

Shepard blinked. "It..I should…" She tried, confused, but all the answers were gone. Every sure thing in her life had imploded and now she couldn't even remember a simple name of the boy who had been her first teenage love.

"I did it because I promised Adam that you would have what none of the rest of them…our sisters, our brothers, none of them had. A chance at a normal life." Mantha finally answered. "A chance to be what you wanted, free of manipulation, free of taint. Free of them." The last was spat with a virulent hate.

"Mantha, I don't know if I'm real." Shepard whispered, her hands clutching the cup as if letting go would be the final failure that finished shattering her.

"Oh, stop being melodramatic." Mantha rolled her eyes. "Real." She snorted. "I could stab you. When you're gushing blood and screaming in pain, I'm betting you'll suddenly remember what's real."

Shepard frowned, taken aback. "Mantha…"

"You never had a chance. Not like the rest of us did. Adam made me see that. You were two years younger, a replacement that had been argued against." Mantha continued and shifted before setting her own glass down. She activated her omni-tool and a picture of four children appeared. The two teenage boys were identical but there was a marked age difference between the girls, one had hit her teenage years and was starting to bloom while the younger was still in the amorphous stage of girlhood. "John has the scar in his hairline…he never did tell me where he got it. Adam…he's the one who looks older than the rest of us."

"I don't remember…" Shepard's thoughts whirled as she stared at her younger self in the image.

"You were still sick, still delirious. Adam almost hadn't reached you in time."Mantha smiled fondly down at the image. "I adored you the moment I saw you, did you know that? Such a quiet thing. So determined not to do anything we said because you were sure we were going to kill you. Or worse."

"I was…am…a copy." Shepard managed, her jaw clenched.

Mantha arched a dark brow over a pale eye. "Oh, for pity's sake, Little Sister, use your brain. I know you can, I taught you. Children…natural or engineered are copies of their parents. Does that make them less human? What makes a human? Two sweaty bodies bumping in the night or a sterile lab and a recipe for perfection?"

Confusion flickered on Shepard's face. "I..don't know. I…"

"You know, maudlin really doesn't suit you." Mantha tucked her hair behind her ears before taking another drink.

"Why are you trying to kill Tayne? The kids?" Shepard finally asked, her head shaking slightly.

"They're imperfect copies. Failures." Mantha shrugged. "Besides, I want the tests finished. I want them done. They have their perfect soldier, they have you. No more are needed or wanted. And I wanted to clean up this mess before you were told about it. Damn that John. I told him to leave you be."

Shepard gulped at her hot chocolate trying to understand and finally shaking her head. "I wasn't the success. You were."

"You don't put your successful soldier out as a broodmare, Kaet. Will you think for a moment?" The last was said with exasperation. "I've known since you passed your N7 training that one day they would take notice of you and they would know that they had succeeded. That _**Project Spartan**_ had developed the perfect warrior. The one capable of defending humanity from every threat. Not just the Reapers, but Turians, Asari, Volus, Vorcha, Battarians."

"You missed some species." Shepard said, her voice sounding strange to her own ears as she tried to reconcile what she was hearing.

Mantha ignored the flip comment. "You trust them a little too much…aliens…but I think that is something that can be overcome with a little guidance. My guidance." Mantha smiled.

"Mantha…" Shepard closed her eyes, the name soft and holding a trace of grief.

"I really think that this has all worked out for the best. You cutting formal ties with the Alliance. We'll let you keep your Spectre status…too handy, that. Once you and Todd have cleaned up this mess with the Reapers, we'll set about giving you the destiny you were born for. Not created, Kaet. Born for." Mantha smiled and then rolled her eyes at the bleak expression that crossed Shepard's face. "Really, Kaet, will you get over yourself?"

"Excuse me if I'm a little thrown by the fact that I was apparently a replacement for a kid who died. Oh, and I was hatched in a lab as part of a super soldier program." Shepard snarled back.

"There she is!" Mantha clapped her hands in delight. "I knew Kaet Shepard was in there. I knew when I first saw you…bleeding in that garbage can but struggling to stand, to walk away…I knew you were the one they had been trying to create. You had broken arms, broken legs, broken everything, it seemed and you were still moving. Not a sound out of you, just this hellish gleam in your eyes of pure stubbornness. You were determined they weren't going to win, the ones who'd done this to you."

Shepard set her cup aside, rubbing her forehead. "Mantha, I don't…"

"You were the first person I loved, Kaet. Unconditionally. I didn't even know what it was until I nursed you back to health." Mantha continued, smiling. "Did you know I tried calling you Kaetayne, tried to force you to answer to it but you never would? The first few times you would say 'My name is Kaet!' and then the rest of the time you simply refused to answer, no matter what I did to you as punishment. Who won that little contest of wills, _Kaet_?"

"How do you equate stubborn as Hell with the perfect super solider, Mantha?" Shepard finally demanded. "It doesn't compute."

"Doesn't it?" Mantha leaned forward. "A stubborn person finds a way to succeed, Shepard. A stubborn person doesn't give up. A stubborn person searches for victory because they won't accept anything less. Any of that sound familiar?"

"Not as familiar as me being so stubborn that Kaidan is sure he's going to put a second door in the Captain's Cabin on the Normandy from banging his head against wall fighting with me." Shepard had a pouting noise in her voice this time.

Mantha's joy and humor faded. "Alenko. Yes. I will take care of that matter for you, Kaet, don't you worry. He won't be a distraction any longer."

"No, Mantha." Shepard's voice was flat, her pale eyes implacable. "You will not touch Kaidan Alenko."

"You don't need him and his silly little Alliance ties. I can provide you with everything you need. It will be just like old times." Mantha waved a hand as if to brush off his importance. "Besides, I have ties to another group that is much better at getting things done."

"As usual, Mantha, you are thinking too small."

The familiar voice had Shepard leaping off the couch, reaching for a weapon she had…for the first time in her life…left the Normandy without.

The man before her seemed to be in the prime of his life, tall and slender, a charisma leaking off them that movie starlets would kill to possess. He looked nothing like the image Shepard had spoken with, debriefed with, for so many months, but there was no mistaking that voice, the inflections, the slow, deliberate drawl. The inhale and exhale of smoke in what she had mistakenly thought was an affectation.

The eyes, his windows to a complicated soul, were the same. Eerie. Enhanced. Alien.

"Timmy." Shepard said without a doubt.

Mantha frowned. "No, this is Todd." She moved to her husband's side, laying her hands on his forearm and pulling him deeper into the room. "Todd, you know Kaet."

A slow smile. A slow exhale of smoke that she could finally smell the pungent rich aroma of rather than simply see float about his head.

"Husband? Mantha's husband?" Shepard repeated. "Shit. What next? You're my father, too?"

"That would make my relationship with my wife more incestuous than either I or polite society finds comfortable." He responded with an easy smile. "You're not looking well, Shepard. Can I get you any help?"

"No. Thank. You." Shepard enunciated in careful tones. Her mind raced through her memory, comparing dates, comparing information and coming up with an answer that stunned her. "You've been married to Mantha for almost fifteen years."

He tapped ash into a cut crystal tray on the counter next to him. "She was still in prison for a crime you committed when I proposed. She delighted me by accepting."

"I want a lobotomy." Shepard said with fervent hope before sinking back onto the couch. "You didn't marry her because of me."

"I married her because I love her, Shepard." Todd answered, those eyes flickering briefly to Mantha who blushed like a school girl. "You may be the perfect soldier in many eyes, but Mantha is the perfect woman."

"I think I just threw up in my mouth." Shepard grimaced trying to swallow the acid taste away.

"Kaet. Be nice." Mantha warned.

Married. A couple. Husband and wife. Could this day get any more surreal? Next she was going to find out Kaidan was pregnant with her child.

That bizarre image had a bubble of laughter winding wildly from her throat but she choked it back.

"You really don't look well, Commander Shepard." The Illusive Man's voice kept coming from the adoring husband standing next to her sister and Shepard blinked, trying to resolve the image with her memories of the man who had brought her back from the dead. "I insist you allow me to call a doctor."

"No. I don't like Doctors on the Citadel. I keep thinking they're the one after my boyfriend. It pisses me off and there are far too many potential weapons in med-clinics." Shepard scrubbed a hand over her face. "I need something with less sugar in it. Water would be good."

"Mantha, if you would be so kind?" Todd turned to her.

Mantha's eyes narrowed, searching back and forth between the two of them. "I'm not entirely sure it's safe to leave Kaet in your care, Todd."

A snort of laughter that held more hysteria in it than humor escaped from Shepard. Where had Mantha been during the two years she'd lain on a slab under Timmy's care?

On her shoulder, Shepard felt an invisible hand rest. The fingers squeezed in reassurance and Shepard used all of her poker skills to keep from revealing that there was another person in that room.

"It was my way of asking you politely to give Commander Shepard and myself a moment alone." His answered his wife with a slight smile.

Mantha considered it for a long moment. "Fine. But she's been upset enough today. I will be very unhappy if you add to that."

More than one pair of eyes watched her leave the room with a wary caution.

"You do know she's insane, don't you?" Shepard finally broke the quiet, her voice utterly serious. The hand on her shoulder jerked and was suddenly gone.

Licking his lips, The Illusive Man studied the glowing tip of his cigarette, as if tasting the puff he had yet to take. "Yes." Came the slow answer. "She escaped from her caretakers on Sessrumnir several weeks ago. I knew she would come looking for you, Shepard, so I came here to wait."

"What happened?" The emotions were whirling in her, confusing her, but through it all she felt more empathy than suspicion as she faced off against the man before her.

"Modern medicine is a wonderful thing and has many benefits, Shepard, as you, more than most, are fully aware. But for all our technology, all our manipulation of the human body, childbirth is still a dangerous experience for a woman to go through. Unexpected things can happen." He tapped his cigarette, not looking at her.

Grief.

Shepard reeled back from an almost physical slap as she clearly read the emotion on the face of the man in front of her. He grieved for Mantha. For what had happened.

Shit. He did love her.

"She wanted the childbirth to be natural for our daughter." Todd continued. "She was afraid drugs and chemicals would harm the baby. She preferred the natural care of a midwife and as this was to be her third successful pregnancy, I had no objections. Unfortunately, the birth had complications. A deficiency of oxygen for a prolonged period of time has left her with permanent damage to her brain. In some ways she has regressed. In others, such as escaping her caretakers and managing to get off planet and here to the Citadel, she's more brilliant than ever."

Shepard's eyes sank closed. "I'm sorry." The words were soft.

"So am I. But she lived. Our daughter lived." Todd continued. "I arranged for her to have constant supervision but Mantha is what drew me to her in the first place…a very capable warrior who is driven to protect those she loves. This is the first time she has escaped her guards for so long, but I knew she would come for you."

Shepard rubbed her hands over her face again. "She tried to kill the children. Tayne. The others."

"In her fragile state, she now sees them as competition for you." Smoke was exhaled, blown toward the ceiling. "In her complicated, simple, bruised mind, she believes that so long as they exist, you will be in danger of being exterminated the way the rest of your crèche was during _**Project Spartan**_. She believes that if she can kill them, the children, her children, they will cease to be a threat. Cease to hurt you. Once they are gone, in her fragile mind, you will be safe."

"Geez, the apple didn't fall far from that tree, did it?" Shepard gave a scoffing laugh. "Or should I say got spliced?"

"Yes. You both share a similar tendency to want to destroy what hurts those you love." The tip of the cigarette glowed as he inhaled. "So what will you do now, Shepard? Kill Mantha because she is a threat to Kaidan Alenko so long as she lives?"

Shepard lifted wet eyes to the man she considered a dangerous enemy and gave him a slight smile. "The problem is, Timmy, that Mantha is the fish."

Nonplussed, The Illusive Man stared at her, not blinking for several breaths. "I don't seem to understand the reference, Commander."

Mantha entered the room with a tray holding a plate with several varieties of cookies and a tall glass of milk. "I thought you might be hungry, Kaet. You were always hungry. Remember when you were younger and you would dream of being in a rich house with fancy servants and all the cookies you could eat? I think Todd will agree if we have one of the rooms here made over for you and we can get any kind of servants you like. Although I don't really recommend Vorcha. They aren't very clean and are always sharpening their teeth on the furniture. They're good for sending after people who need to be killed, though."

Shepard's face crumpled momentarily and unashamedly she wept before her enemy while managing a smile for her sister. "Yes, Mantha. I remember." She finally said and wiped at her eyes before motioning for Mantha to come sit next to her on the couch. "Will you be joining us, Todd?"

He exhaled smoke.

"Oh, do put that out. It stinks." Mantha waved a hand in front of her face.

The Illusive Man stubbed the cigarette out and smiled at her.

"I would be delighted to, my dear." He said holding a hand out to her that she took with enthusiasm.

Shepard didn't see what he did and she had been looking, but Mantha closed her eyes and crumpled against her husband. He held her for a moment a hand stroking her hair before setting her gently in a chair.

"She'll sleep until I can have her returned to her caretakers." He said after a moment before rising to his impressive height and facing Shepard. "We need to talk."

"Did you kill her?" Tayne demanded shimmering into view next to Mantha's body. "Did you…"

"No." The answer was simple. "Nor is it my intention to harm her. This is the easiest, least traumatic way to get her help, Tayne."

"When she wakes, her goals will not have changed." Shepard said quietly. "You can't protect the children from her. Not if they are anywhere near her."

With deliberate movements, he withdrew an expensive cigarette case from his jacket pocket and took one, lightly up with a grace formed only from long habit. "What would you suggest, Shepard? That I choose between my wife and my children?"

"They're not really yours, are they?" Shepard countered.

"I taught Tayne how to ride a bike, Shepard. I gave her her first horse on her twelfth birthday. I sent some of my best security after her on her first date to make certain nothing happened to her." The words bit at Shepard and she blinked. "What part of that makes her not mine?"

Shepard rubbed the skin between her eyes. "I'm sorry, I am having the worst time trying to see you as the Daddy."

"You don't have to like me to understand that I have been in the lives of those children, of Mantha, longer than you have, Shepard." The anger was more defined now.

"Then protect them!" Shepard snapped back. "Make the hard call and protect them."

"Again, I ask, what do you suggest?" He tapped the cigarette on the ash tray.

Shepard moved across the room, standing next to Tayne, over Mantha's sleeping form. "Kill them. The children. All of them."

"What?" Tayne hissed, her expression stunned.

"Mantha will hunt you, she will find you and she will kill you." Shepard's pale eyes met those of the younger woman. "It's what she was bred for, Tayne. Trained for. It's why she was created."

"And if the children are already dead, there is no reason to hunt." The Illusive Man murmured with admiration, nodding his head toward Shepard. "But it means I step back from being their father."

"A father protects his children. Or so I'm told. I don't have any practical experience in that regard." Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, weight on one hip. "But it does force you to make the tough decision. Your wife or your children." She was actually getting to the point that she could say the word 'wife' in the context of Timmy without gagging.

Tayne's gaze moved back and forth between the two as if she could only hear part of the conversation.

"What will you do with them?" He asked after a long moment of silent drags on the cigarette.

"Nothing. I have other priorities, namely the Reapers. Making sure that those children have a future to live through." Shepard shook her head. "Let Scheplieu have them. Let him finished what he has planned and take them, give them new identities and new lives. That means you step out, Timmy. Completely. If you know, Mantha will find out."

He moistened his lips and gave a slow nod. "So be it. Tell Scheplieu that he has clearance to leave the Citadel with the children and I will no longer impede his departure. I will take Mantha back to Sessrumnir and arrange for proof of the children's deaths to be given to her."

"You can't decide that!" Tayne burst out, her expression distressed. "This is my life! Judy and James and Jane's lives."

"You couldn't have picked a different letter of the alphabet for each kid?" Shepard gave Timmy a scornful look.

"At least they have different names." Timmy retorted and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Tayne, if there is another suggestion, another choice, I am willing to hear it." Shepard said in a soothing voice to the teenager.

"Fix her!" Tayne pointed at Mantha. "Fix what is wrong! They brought you back from the dead! They should be able to fix her! Make her Mom again!"

Shepard grimaced and glanced at the man next to her. "Tayne, I don't know how they brought me back, but I know I have…extra parts. Parts that aren't entirely human. Biosynthetic."

"Muscle and bone. Skin and internal organs." Smoke blew from his mouth as he spoke. "The brain was more difficult and took the most time. The results were better than we hoped for, less than we wanted and none of your brain tissue is biosynthetic. It's all your tissue." The odd, mechanical eyes slanted toward Tayne. "The problem is being worked on, but Shepard was rebuilt almost from scratch based on the templates she was created with. Mantha is still alive and still functioning. She's just impaired. To 'fix' her, we would have to understand completely what parts were affected and as I said, it's being worked on."

"But it won't be soon." Tears leaked down Tayne's cheeks.

"It took two years to bring Shepard back, Tayne. Optimally, we needed another ten months at the least to finish but other incidents interfered." He tapped the cigarette again. "Are you willing to risk Mantha killing you or the Twins or Judy? What do you think that will do to Mantha once she is whole again and she has to live with what she has done?"

Shaking her head, Tayne silently cried. "It's not fair!" She finally whispered.

"Welcome to the human race, kid. Hope you enjoy your stay." Shepard murmured. "What's it going to be, Tayne?"

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" Tayne snapped and scrubbed her eyes.

"No. You don't. Sometimes you pick what you can live with." Shepard answered baldly. "It's called being an adult. Congratulations on making it this far."

"I would like a few minutes alone with my daughter before you leave, Shepard."

"Tayne?" Shepard ignored him until the young girl nodded. "I'll be outside pissing off your security drones, Timmy."

She didn't move right away, instead she stood next to the chair, looking down at the sleeping woman. After a long moment, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Be happy, Big Sister." Shepard whispered and turned away, her steps getting quicker as she moved, as if worried that if she didn't leave now, she wouldn't leave at all.

Broken and shattered security drones were scattered in the hallway, a lone man leaning against the wall with a deceptively casual appearance, ignoring the snap and spark of dying mechanical parts about him.

Shepard's eyes filled as she watched him push off from the wall and walk toward her. She met him, her arms going up and about him, burying her face in the crook of his neck as he pulled her tight against him.

"How do you do it?" She mumbled against him, still hiding her face. "Make me feel better just by being there?"

Kaidan laughed softly but didn't answer, just holding her.

After a moment, she pulled back and gave him a confused look. "Why are you out here and not in there?"

"I could hear." He tapped his omni-tool. "Tayne had her communications link opened. It seemed best not to complicate matters."

She nodded slowly. "She's crazy, Kaidan. It's weird…I'm talking to her and she's Mantha and everything is good and then, without a blink, she shifts and suddenly she's not my Mantha anymore and I have to protect the world from her."

"Will he help her?" Kaidan asked softly.

Shepard's smile was cynical. "So long as Mantha is alive I am emotionally tied to her, Kaidan. Whether I like it or not. Do you honestly think Timmy'll give that connection up so long as he can use it?"

Kaidan gave her a long, thoughtful study. "You called him Timmy. There's only one person you call Timmy."

"You know what, Kaidan, I'm tired." Shepard rubbed her forehead, unwanted tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes. "I'm done being strong and capable today, okay? I'm going to be a coward and not deal with things and I'm going to go to my room and I'm going to get in bed and not come out for a while."

He caught her chin in his fingers, lifting her face until those watering eyes met his. "Only you, Kaet, would think that was cowardice. You have such high expectations of yourself. Such high demands. And since those demands are hurting the woman I love, I'm going to tell you to knock it off before I get really annoyed. It is not cowardice to give me that burden and let me take care of you. It's called love and you are, some day, going to trust mine for you. Trust that it's strong enough to hold you up through times like these."

"If I have many more times like this, Mantha won't be the only crazy one in the family." Shepard managed only half joking and he smiled at her. "Shit, I hate that I'm crying. Such a girly thing to do. I'm not even bleeding."

"I like girly Shepard." Kaidan answered, chuckling. "I like naked Shepard more, but I'm shallow that way."

She gave a hiccupping laugh before leaning against him, burrowing against his chest.

"Tayne will be out soon and she shouldn't see you like this." There was almost regret in Kaidan's voice. "She'll have her own issues to deal with…she thought her mother was trying to kill her. I think she'd find that almost preferable to learning that her mother isn't exactly sane and she didn't notice."

Shepard swallowed and nodded. "I'll pull it together." She wiped at her eyes, inhaling deep and giving a small shake of her head. A second breath, another nod and she faced him, a lift to her chin. "How do I look? Can you tell I've been crying?"

Kaidan studied the swollen red eyes, the blotchy face and red nose and smiled. "You're beautiful, Kaet." He murmured and kissed her.

"Uhm…" Tayne's hesitant voice broke across them.

"Tayne, we really need to talk about this habit you have of interrupting your aunt and me." Kaidan said in exaggerated tones that made the teenager laugh and relax as she came closer to them.

Shepard frowned as she considered her genetic twin. Tayne's face was mottled red, her nose dripping and her eyes swollen red as evidence of a recent crying bout. Suspicious, she looked at Kaidan who simply arched an eyebrow at her, daring her to question him. She chose to ignore him, instead.

"He gave you a code to keep in contact with him, didn't he?" Shepard said without a doubt.

Tayne wiped at her nose with a silk handkerchief and nodded. "Don't worry, Kaet, I won't use it unless I need it."

"You will never need it because you will have mine and you know that I will come kick the ass of whoever is bothering you." Shepard pointed out crossing her arms over her chest. "That's what Aunt's do for their nieces and nephews."

Some subtle tension seeped from the younger girl's shoulders. "You—you don't mind? That I have your name? That sensors can't tell us apart because we're genetically identical?" The questions were hesitant and not all of them given voice.

"Why do you go by Tayne?" Kaidan asked, his head tilting to the side, studying her.

The teenager frowned. "Because it's my name."

"No, your name is Kaetayne." Kaidan corrected and spared a deliberate glance to the woman standing so still, listening next to him. "Why do you go by Tayne?"

Confused, not a little annoyed, as if Kaidan were being deliberately dense, she scowled at him. "Because it's what I chose to be called. Just like she chooses to be called Kaet. It's who she is."

"And Tayne is who you are." Kaidan smiled. "You may have your aunt's skills, her DNA, but you are not your aunt. And please don't ever get her temperament."

Shepard slugged his arm.

"Exactly my point, thank you, Shepard." He drawled and caught her hand before she could do it again.

Tayne gave an unwilling giggle and covered her mouth with her hand as if to contain the mirth.

"Come on. Scheplieu will be having a fit right about now and I'm sure your aunt would hate to miss it." Kaidan took her hand and pulled her along the corridor, past the debris of broken drones.

"Aunt Kaet, do you think we could find out if Kaidan has a genetic twin somewhere?" Tayne asked with a soft sigh. "Only maybe not so old?"

Shepard's laughter sputtered about them. She opened her mouth to respond but Kaidan pulled her solidly against his waist and squeezed.

"Do not encourage her."


	8. Chapter 8

Scheplieu stared out the window of the observation lounge, two children playing delightedly at his feet with a large Krogan warrior who was giving them piggy back rides and pretending to be a varren who ate them when they fell laughing with hysterical joy.

"He'll take care of her?"

Shepard nodded. "I don't trust a lot of what Timmy says…but he loves her. This I trust. He'll take care of her. I'll keep in contact with her. Keep her as calm as I can. Visit her. Timmy says there are some experimental procedures he's unwilling to test on her just yet, but he's keeping an eye on in case they show promise."

Scheplieu rubbed the back of neck, expelling a long breath. "I can't believe it. It's just…it sucks. Mantha…" The name trailed off.

"He wants you to keep the children. Take them wherever you have planned, raise them. Protect them." Shepard continued. "Mantha has been told that they died in a hover car wreck and it would mess with that particular fib if she were to accidentally stumble across them."

Tayne, who had been silent until this point, turned and began focusing on the children playing, for all appearances not hearing a word that was said.

"What's better?" Scheplieu asked of Shepard with a bitter smile. "Believing your mother is a cold hearted bitch who's trying to kill you for her own selfish reasons or learning that she almost died giving birth to your youngest sibling and was left with permanent mental damage and you never knew, never picked up on the change."

"Parents are meant to be perfect. They're meant to protect and love and care for you while teaching you how to care for yourself one day." Kaidan answered from his position next to Shepard, speaking more to the girl near him than the man in front of him. "The day they fall off that pedestal, the day you realize for the first time how human they are…that's a terrible day."

"He chose her!" Tayne said suddenly, her pale eyes going moist. "Over us, I mean. The kids."

Shepard grimaced. "Seriously, Tayne, it's not like Timmy's a prize. I mean, really, he's…"

"No. No, I get it." Tayne struggled to contain her tears and failed. "It's like you and Kaidan."

There was a moment of absolute stillness as Shepard absorbed that comment.

"Please don't ever compare my relationship with Kaidan to Timmy's and Mantha's ever again." Shepard finally requested in an abnormally calm voice.

Tayne laughed and hiccupped and laughed again.

"She has a point." Kaidan said in his quiet way, not at all moved by the glare Shepard directed toward him. "There have been times when I was sure you were insane."

"Does the word 'sleeping' and the name Mordin strike fear into your heart?" Shepard retorted.

Kaidan's slow smile had her heart tripping in her chest. "You're confessing to having cheated on me with Mordin while you were going after the Collector base for Cerberus? You slut, you."

Tayne burst out laughing, her tears ending. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'd send a picture, but I'm too lazy. Just look in a mirror." Shepard winked at her and shifted until she was slightly leaning on Kaidan. "The Normandy will drop you off wherever you plan to go, Scheplieu."

"Thank you, Shepard…"

"Oh, stop it with the last names." Jack rolled her eyes. "Make nice and get over yourselves."

"You're just jealous because you don't have one." Shepard retorted and earned an obscene gesture that was immediately picked up by Jane, the female of the three year old twins, and like her older sister a younger copy of Shepard.

"Oh, that's wonderful." Kaidan commented as Jane began using the gesture on her twin brother James. "At this rate she'll have learned all of Shepard's favorite words by the time she's four."

"Like the rest of us, she's a quick study." Tayne said with a grin. "Todd was an idiot for not being happy with her when she was born. Somehow she and James were exposed to eezo while Man…Mom was pregnant. Instead of being exact copies with Infiltrator and Soldier abilities, they're both biotics. _**Project Phoenix**_ goes down in the tubes as a failure."

"Mantha probably did it on purpose." John shrugged and grinned down at his twin. "Probably protecting Shepard even though she was dead."

Shepard blinked, frowning. "Wait. I never did learn what _**Project Phoenix**_ was. It was all _**Spartan **_this and _**Spartan**_ that."

Scheplieu gave her a long study and then shrugged. "_**Project Phoenix**_…the children at your feet…they were Plan B. Conceived on the day Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko reported you as killed in action."

"Plan B?" Shepard repeated, confused. "What was Plan A?"

"The Lazarus Project." Kaidan answered quietly. "If that failed, they were going to age the Twins artificially until they could train them, imprint/brainwash, whatever your memories and skills on them and hopefully let them step into your shoes against the Reapers."

Shepard closed her eyes and rubbed her stress spot. "So what was the baby? Plan C?" She demanded finally.

Scheplieu gave a shrug. "Never understood why they needed yet another copy of you, LS. Notice they needed three more of you, but only one more of me." He smirked at her.

Shepard's gaze narrowed at him. "This universe is not big enough for the both of us."

"Three more?" Kaidan frowned in confusion. "Only Tayne and Jane are Shepard's genetic twins. Judy isn't."

"I saw the scans while Mantha was pregnant." John shook his head in disagreement. "Judy is a genetic twin. Identical."

Kaidan shook his head again. "No. Mantha is the genetic twin. She was the first. Her template is the one Shepard and Tayne and Jane are all based on. Judy has no genetic manipulation at all. She is the child of the blending of her father and mother's DNA."

"EDI, how many people in this room register as me to your scanners? Including me." Shepard demanded.

"Using basic security scanners there are three human forms identified as Shepard, Commander Kaet. You, the teenage female standing next to Jack and the toddler currently coloring Grunt's eyelids with a purple paint stick." EDI responded.

"His daughter. Timmy's." Shepard said softly crossing the room to the infant sleeping in a standard cushioned lifepod/carrier. "He chose Mantha and sent his daughter away." She watched the small rosebud mouth suck at an imaginary bottle as the child dreamed.

"To protect her from Mantha." Kaidan said quietly. "He sent her to those who would care for her. Her family."

John joined Shepard staring down at the child. "He'll want her back some day, Shepard."

She met his gaze. "Then teach her to survive the way Adam taught me. Taught _us_. She'll be smart and manipulative as all Hell. Teach her mercy to go with all of that."

Pale eyes met pale eyes and an understanding was reached.

"Call if you need me." Shepard added, her attention shifting to Tayne. "I will come."

A faint smile touched the younger girl's lips. "I know how you feel about your promises, Kaet. Thank you."

Scheplieu moved across the room to the corner where Jack was watching the children play, the expression on her face almost confused, as if she had never been sure that children actually did that.

"What about you?" He asked crossing his arms over his chest, weight on one hip.

Kaidan studied the stance for a moment then turned his head to look at Tayne and then once more to Shepard before laughing softly. All three were standing in the exact same position. Shepard understood at once and immediately moved to lean against a wall.

"What about me?" Jack frowned at him. "If this is about your gun, you're going to be really pissed when you find out what Shepard had done to your armor."

A beautiful smile curved Shepard's lips.

Scheplieu completely ignored her, all of his attention focused on the woman before him. "I still owe you for stopping Shepard."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow at Shepard in question, but she blinked innocent eyes at him and gave a confused shrug as if she had no idea what they were talking about.

Jack frowned. "You don't owe me. I told you, Shepard wouldn't have killed you." She shrugged.

"I'd like to take you to dinner before we leave the Citadel." Scheplieu informed her ignoring the sudden intense interest of everyone in the room over the age of ten, his entire focus on the tattooed woman before him. "Afterwards we can go stroll through the gardens. Maybe buy you some flowers."

Confused, Jack stared at him. "What, a date?"

"Yes. That's when a ruggedly handsome man asks a beautiful, interesting woman to dinner." Scheplieu's tones were exaggerated and slow.

"Why?" Jack seemed genuinely confused. "If you want to be fu…"

"Children, Jack. In the room, listening." Scheplieu cut her off quickly. "And it's just dinner. Not a marriage proposal."

Jack's large eyes looked at Shepard, an almost helpless glint in their depths.

"Go. Take some leave." Shepard shrugged as if the matter were of little concern. "Make him pay. For everything. Several times."

Scheplieu tilted his head toward her. "Get over it, Shepard."

Kaidan grabbed her arms and jerked her back against his chest. "No fighting in front of the children." He ordered.

"I like tiger lilies." Jack said abruptly and left the room as if chased by mechs.

"Break her heart and I will break every bone in your body. Twice." Shepard promised, her eyes on Scheplieu.

The older man's gaze was on the far door. "I think, Little Sis, that it's more likely she'll break mine." He nodded and quickly departed after the angry woman.

"Tayne, I hate to abandon you, but your Aunt is exhausted." Kaidan said to the teenager as he began walking Shepard toward the door. "She's going to go have some dinner and go to bed. Can you handle the kids from here?"

The teenager smiled and nodded. "Sure. I've had lots of practice."

Shepard paused at the door, her expression thoughtful for a moment before she smiled and nodded, the look full of confidence and admiration. "You'll do, Tayne. You'll do very well."

The teenager blushed and nodded. "Thank you."

* * *

The ride to their cabin was silent and seemed to go on forever. Shepard was lost in her thoughts and instead of relaxing seemed to grow more tense as the doors slid open and they entered their cabin.

"I'm sorry, Kaidan." She finally said, shaking her head. "I'll be better. I'll do better. This won't happen again."

Frowning, he considered her, her frenetic pacing about the small area. "I don't understand." He said watching her.

"I screwed up!" Shepard exploded, agitated but determined. "I was a damn coward and you paid for it. Tayne paid for it. It won't happen again. Never again."

"Okay, that's the third time this has come up and I still don't understand where it's coming from." Kaidan informed her. "You're going to have to spell it out for me, Kaet."

She scrubbed her hands over her face and shook her head. "It's unacceptable. I can't do that…not again. I can't duck my head and pretend it will all go away. I should have made you tell me what was going on from the very beginning, Kaidan. I should have pushed it and not ran away like a little girl because I knew that whatever was bothering you was big and I didn't want to deal with it. That's unacceptable. It won't happen again. I will not duck my responsibilities again."

Kaidan opened his mouth for a long moment nothing came, a battle of confusion on his face as he searched for the words and finally settled on one. "What?" There was disbelief in his tone.

"If I had made you tell me, then I could have confronted Scheplieu. I could have dealt with this whole thing head on. He would never have needed to lure you into a trap, you would never have been hurt and you would never have had that migraine or saw my dead body. Shit, the last thing you need is more fodder for your nightmare." The last was said with such a wealth of self-disgust that Shepard closed her eyes, unable to look at him.

"So, you are a coward because you chose not to deal with a problem that I had already told you was going to hurt you." Kaidan repeated in slow tones. "You're an idiot, Kaet."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I know you're trying to make it better, Kaidan, and I love you for it, but I cannot allow myself to duck things. I will not be a coward again. What if the Reapers were to show tomorrow? Should I just put my head in the sand and say it's someone else's problem, the way I did this time? Unacceptable."

"Oh, for pity's sake. Will you give yourself a break?" Kaidan's temper cracked across the room. "What about my role in this, Kaet? I screwed everything up. I couldn't have made a bigger mess of this if I had been trying."

"You were trying to protect me, I understand that, Kaidan. None of this was your fault." She smiled at him, the gesture holding compassion and love.

Kaidan stared at her and then shook his head. "No, Kaet. I wasn't protecting you, I was wrapping you in a nice safe room with no sharp objects where you wouldn't be hurt. The exact same way you are doing it to me right now."

Confused, she frowned at him. "I don't see…"

"Kaet, if I had told you from the beginning it would have changed everything, exactly like you said. You would never have had to hear it from someone else about your genetic manipulations. About Tayne and Mantha being your genetic twins, about both projects…if I had told you, if I had brought you in, it would never have been dumped on you the way it was. You would never have felt lost and alone and confused." He ran a hand through his hair. "I would never have had to watch you walk away, hurting and know I could do nothing about it because it was my fault. I failed, Kaet. Not you. I was the one that messed up."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he wasn't finished.

"Because of that, Kaet, you think you are a coward?" The question was disbelief. "Because I decided to play the big man and prove I could protect my woman from everything by hiding it from her and I failed? You're not a coward, Kaet, you simply chose the wrong man to stand by your side. Instead of helping, I made things worse."

Incapable of seeing that loathing on his face, that pain and not touch him, Kaet crossed the room and wrapped her arms about him. After a moment, his came about her, clutching her tightly to him.

For a long time they simply stood there, letting silence soothe them and touch heal.

"So…I guess we both screwed up." Kaet murmured, her hands deep in his hair, his face buried in the crook of her neck. "Must mean we're perfect for each other."

He laughed, hot breath against her skin and held her tighter. "Do you honestly think I'd let anyone else have you, Kaet? Besides, you scare the hell out of most men."

With mock affront, she pulled her hands out of his hair and pinched his rear in revenge. "There are plenty of men on the Citadel I could have by simply snapping my fingers."

Brown eyes crinkled with mirth, he settled his hands on her bottom, pulling her closer. "Yes, you could. Conrad Verner would be leading that pack."

"Okay, he's also near the top of the list of people whose names are not mentioned when I want to get you naked." Kaet answered. "Did I tell you I met him on Illium? And he was in N7 armor?"

Kaidan blinked at her. "Okay, that's a bit kinky, in a disturbing way, but it is more plausible than you having an affair with Mordin."

"What?" Kaet exploded. "Not for sex, you idiot! Sheesh, I shot him in the foot!"

Exasperation had Kaidan rolling his eyes. "Kaet, you can't mention wanting to get me naked in one sentence and the very next mention meeting a man on Illium for completely different reasons and expect me to keep up. I'm a man. My brain doesn't do mental gymnastics like that. You say naked and everything in me focuses on only one thing after that and it isn't conversation."

Kaet arched an eyebrow at him and gave him the wicked smile she reserved just for him.

"Naked."


End file.
